tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26747989829129767702024-03-05T10:56:45.254-08:00The Cerebral ClimbThe Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-14415964452604035872019-04-14T20:19:00.002-07:002019-04-14T20:24:25.195-07:00The God Who Sees and Hears<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">
I wrote this last Sunday as I flew home from a weekend of reprieve.</div>
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Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?” Gen <a dir="ltr" href="https://www.blogger.com/null" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">16:13</a></div>
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Who is like the Lord our God,</div>
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Who dwells on high,</div>
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Who humbles Himself to behold</div>
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The things that are in the heavens and in the earth?</div>
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He raises the poor out of the dust,</div>
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And lifts the needy out of the ash heap,</div>
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That He may seat him with princes—</div>
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With the princes of His people.</div>
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He grants the barren woman a home,</div>
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Like a joyful mother of children.</div>
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Praise the Lord! Psalms 113:5-9</div>
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This weekend I was able to take a break, thanks to my parents in-law. Yesterday I read in Genesis 16 about Hagar pregnant, thirsty and alone in the desert. The Lord spoke to her. He heard her cry in her affliction and He saw her need. This morning I opened my Bible to Psalm 113 and it went so well with what I read yesterday. A God Who sees, hears and knows. He humbled Himself and became a man, a servant, tempted in all points, afflicted and wounded for our transgressions.<br />
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Sometimes it’s very hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s hard being a caregiver for the long haul with no end in sight and not much real respite. Most people care for elderly for a few years or someone with a terminal condition, so although the “end” is not exactly welcome, there is a foreseeable end. But there are many of us caregivers that care for a child, spouse or other loved one for an indefinite time (obviously death comes for all) because the injury or condition happened early in life and isn’t necessarily terminal. Sometimes, just that thought is overwhelming...so I try not to dwell on it and take one day at a time.</div>
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I dream about having vacations that are actually vacations. Where I would get to be with my husband and not have to worry about whether bathrooms are big enough or if there’s too many steps or if a doorway is too narrow. A vacation where I could enjoy his company without straining all of my concentration on figuring out what he’s saying. A vacation that I don’t have to plan every little detail around brain injury. It’s just a dream though.</div>
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He sees, hears and knows.</div>
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That’s comforting. I’m not alone. There are many reminders of this for me. Whether it’s a stranger paying for our meal anonymously, packages of coloring books for the girls, a kind word or a random man offering to plow our driveway when he saw me struggling to move a huge snow “boulder” out of the front of our driveway. </div>
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The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-43640455003926319362019-03-07T21:01:00.002-08:002019-03-07T21:09:00.991-08:00Hello again Hello all!<br />
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I know some of you have posted a couple comments on here. I do read them. Thank you to all who continue to pray for us. We are still here. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve written a blog post! I guess with 3 kids, life kind of runs away. My inspiration for writing has been buried in lots of sleepless nights. <br />
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We welcomed a sweet baby boy, Lucas David, into our family on July 18th, 2018. The girls just adore him and the feeling is mutual. He is crawling everywhere and wants to be in the middle of everything. We got a robotic vacuum and he loves to try to catch it and even get merry-go-round rides on it when it is on its spot clean mode! Jocelyn started kindergarten last Fall and is excelling and loving school. We are so blessed to have a Christian school she can attend right around the corner from us. We are so grateful for this option for our family, as the homeschool option would be a difficult one for me to do well at. Abi follows in Jocelyn’s footsteps but has a big enough personality that she won’t stay in the shadows. She loves the extra attention when Jocelyn is at school.<br />
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Our caregiver situation rises and falls but has been pretty sparse for several months. David’s dad decided to get hired on at the agency we use, so when there are gaps and he’s available, he can just take the shift and help with David’s cares. It’s been very helpful. <br />
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David’s health is good, although we haven’t noticed much changes this last year. He only had one ER visit. He tried to be independent and take his foot pedal off. He lost his balance and fell head first into to bathroom tile. I can get him off the floor by myself but I was holding his head so I decided to let some firemen pick him up this time.<br />
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I was so impressed by Abi. She kept calm and was able to get gauze for me. He has been in PT for some trunk control and strengthening his left leg . He also stays in touch with his neuro optometrist in Chicago. We just made a visit a couple weeks ago the day after a big snow storm. As we were driving down the freeway, it was quite sobering. There were dozens of cars, trucks and semis that had slid off the road into the median. The optometrist noted improvement in acuity in his left eye and ability for his left eye to work in conjunction with his right eye. He will be getting eye glasses to wear soon. She uses prism glasses to optimize brain function. It has been discovered that the retina is actually brain tissue. I’m copying a link to an interview with her if anyone is interested in listening to her explain some of the things she knows and applies with people with brain injuries. It’s really fascinating. <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/facesoftbi/2017/02/16/understanding-how-the-eyes-are-affected-after-a-brain-injury-w-dr-zelinsky">http://www.blogtalkradio.com/facesoftbi/2017/02/16/understanding-how-the-eyes-are-affected-after-a-brain-injury-w-dr-zelinsky</a><br />
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We’ve had record-breaking amounts of snow, especially in the month of February. We also had some extremely cold temperatures so Jocelyn had lots of snow days and I had to figure out how to squeeze in snow blowing and shoveling our driveway into already busy days. I’m so grateful for the help I’ve had on a couple days. The combination of piles of snow and very cold temperatures has done a few things to our house. I wish I’d paid more attention to my dad’s work because I’m turning out to be a terrible handywoman. But I am learning a lot...and making many trips to Menards. I am so thankful for YouTube videos and Pinterest tutorials. At these times, I really feel my inadequacy as a parent, wife, homeowner, etc... The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-67856253704846817032018-01-22T10:12:00.000-08:002018-01-22T10:12:14.927-08:00Love Your NeighborLife has kind of leveled out for us. It doesn’t feel as much like every day is such a struggle. 2017 was a breeze in comparison to the previous 4 years. The receptionist at the registration at the hospital still knows our name but she doesn’t have David’s birthdate memorized anymore. That’s because he didn’t have one single ER visit or hospitalization. His therapy visits have moved to a ranch up an hour drive from us that uses horses to help him achieve speech and occupational therapy goals. David had only one UTI and significantly less headaches. He’s been able to tolerate me loosening up on his diet restrictions without a lot of problems. Our oldest has been blossoming into a much less anxiety-filled, tantrum-throwing child. She is really becoming a sweet, responsible little person. Our youngest is starting to show signs of the terrible twos but definitely more manageable so far. She is going to have to get used to not being the youngest because we are expecting baby #3 in July!<br />
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Because this last year has been a lot less stressful, I’ve been able to think about reaching out a little more. I’ve been thinking a lot about “loving your neighbor” and what that means. Our mission field is not Africa, it’s not in South America, it’s right in our homes, in our backyards, across the street. In Helen Roseveare’s book, “Give Me This Mountain,” she gives a succinct description of what a missionary is: “I believe that, at its simplest, a missionary is sent by God to live a Christian life, usually amongst people other than his own. It is living which counts.” It is living which counts.<br />
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Unfortunately, or fortunately, sometimes I can’t tell which, we have people in our home 10 hours a day. We don’t get much privacy so our “living” cannot be hidden by going home, away from probing eyes. What you see is what you get. Our marriage, our faith, our mistakes, our arguments, our love, our messes, our imperfections, our family is on display pretty much all. the. time. <br />
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Colossians 3:17 NLT And whatever you do or say, do it as a representation of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.<br />
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About a week ago, God gave me an opportunity to act in His representation. I hope I did what He would have had me to do but I can tell you, I was fully prepared to act the opposite way. We have a caregiver that is not very punctual or reliable. She’ll find every excuse under the sun to be up to 45 minutes late. It was getting on my nerves how late she was all the time, among other things. Last Sunday she followed us to church in her own car so had the freedom to not participate in our service. When we were done, she agreed to meet us at our home. We needed gas so we were going to be a few minutes behind her. We got home and she was not there. I got everyone out of the van, in the house, prepared and ate lunch, and she was STILL not there. Where was our caregiver?? I called the agency she works for. They acted like they had no idea what happened to her. They called back, saying she had checked on her kids and found the babysitter had ditched the kids so she needed to stay with them. But no one had bothered to communicate this to us. So, next shift she was scheduled, I was fully prepared to confront her on leaving a client without any communication in the middle of a shift. If anyone knows me, I don’t do confrontation. I avoid it if at all possible but I felt this was a pretty important issue of neglect that I couldn’t ignore. She started crying and told me she had communicated with the company and THEY didn’t bother to communicate with us. She also had been assaulted when she had confronted her negligent babysitter. I ended up forgiving her and buddy taping and bandaging her broken finger. Sometimes, it takes a lot of patience and supernatural love of the Lord flowing through you to respond to these situations. There are so many broken people that are struggling to just manage to get through life that need God’s Love.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-20767889657191877602017-09-29T21:11:00.000-07:002017-09-29T21:11:28.869-07:00Singing Through the Suffering I had a brother in Christ encourage me to keep writing back in May. He even offered to edit my writing for a book. Incidentally, that's when I stopped writing. I couldn't write. Maybe it was a combination of things but I started to question why I was writing. Was it for me or for God's glory? Was I interested more in people's responses, how many likes I got or was I really writing so that others could see God working on and through our weakness and brokenness?<br />
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This summer has been a medley of very difficult moments and amazing adventures. I have trained at least 17 different caregivers in the last 4 months and only 3 are working very limited hours right now. We lost 2 full-time caregivers this summer and have yet to replace them. We've had various issues with the staff that I've trained, ranging from complete no shows to severe short-term memory loss. I spend countless hours training these women and then they don't work out. It has created a lot of stress and anxiety for our household. I've found that the last two weeks, David has been so much less anxious because I have been the primary caregiver for 22-24 hours of the day. Although tiring for me, I actually find myself enjoying taking care of him more when I'm not training in a bunch of unreliable people because his mood and behavior is so much better. Our girls have gotten pretty good at playing quietly in the morning while I'm taking care of David's personal cares. We've developed a fairly smooth routine where I get the girls dressed, drinks in hand so they will color or "read" quietly while I attend to David's needs. It obviously is not perfect. Toddler fights break out over who gets what color of marker or cup, someone stubs a toe, someone decorates the entire wall with non-washable markers, and I'm running back and forth between both parties trying to keep the peace and safety in our home but we make it out alive every day...with possibly a few more grey hairs!<br />
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David has hit kind of a plateau with progress. Not much has really changed lately but we are very grateful for an answer to a prayer this summer that we've had for years. We've been pretty lonely and needed friends close-by that understood our life or were at least willing to flex to be a part of it and build us up.<br />
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One evening, I decided that we could all go for a walk. I strapped Abi to my back and pushed David in his wheelchair while Jocelyn skipped ahead, gleefully picking wild flowers. We hadn't gone far when a black car slowed as it passed us and then turned around. A tall man about my age got out of the car and walked towards us. He introduced himself as our neighbor a couple houses down. As we talked, we found out he and his wife were Christians. We invited them over for dinner. The man comes early every Thursday morning (at least as often as he can) and loads David up in our van and drives him to a coffee shop where a few other men have a Bible Study. He invites him to be with his friends just like he is just another friend. His wife is also very sweet and will come on walks and fellowship with me. It's such a blessing and such a specific answer to prayer! God hears!<br />
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We've gone on a few trips this summer. My whole immediate family got together on the Oregon coast. My sister helped me drive all the way out and my mom helped me drive on the way back. Our little family did amazingly well for how much driving we did. Our girls love traveling and make it pretty exciting! They love to point out all the interesting new things along the way. I love how their excitement is catching. I find myself noticing more of the details and intricate design of God's wonderful creation when I travel with them.<br />
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David and I went to a worship conference in Nashville about a week and a half ago. I've never been so encouraged at a conference. I wish I could share all got from that conference. I went there feeling very low and burnt out in my soul and came back feeling like I'd stood under the waterfall of God's refreshment. I'll share a few highlights from my gleanings. Pardon me if it's a little scattered and random.<br />
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God isn't interested in healing bodies (although He does care and has compassion). He is interested in healing souls.<br />
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A great portion of what we learn and remember about God and the Word are contained in what we sing. So what we sing is of great importance. We should be careful to be teaching our children through song the truth about God, His character, Jesus and His work on the cross. We should teach our children songs of lament so they have songs to sing when they go through trials and suffering, pointing back to Christ. Our songs of praise and glory to God are a witness to the world. When we sing praise to God, we are engaging in spiritual battle. We are declaring God is victorious. Satan cannot stand to see us sing through suffering. In 2 Chronicles 20:21 it says the singers went before the army: "And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD ; for his mercy endureth forever." Our singing of His praise comes even when we don't feel like it because He is worthy. He has already conquered sin and death so we will always have something to praise Him about even in our darkest hours.<br />
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Our personal worship comes before corporate worship.<br />
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Let the Word of Christ dwell richly in your hearts. If we are not occupying our minds and hearts with Him, how are we going to have any substance with which to worship?<br />
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I hope you are encouraged by some of the nuggets I gleaned. <br />
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Thank you to those who still think about us and pray for us. We need your prayers. We are so thankful for those that encourage us by notes by email or snail mail. It has been 5 years since David's accident and you are still taking the time to follow our journey and pray for us. Amazing!The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-35341221174015758082017-06-04T22:55:00.000-07:002017-06-04T22:55:03.586-07:00I Have This Treasure David and I watched a movie tonight that many may have seen already or maybe you are not familiar with it. It was "Me Before You": a story of a young woman that becomes a caregiver/companion for a young man who became a quadriplegic after an accident. The young man is deeply depressed and has made plans for assisted suicide. The young woman brightens his life by her exuberant presence and helps him "live a little." She learns of his plan and thinks she can persuade him not to go ahead with it. In the end, her love and the joy she brought into his life is not enough to restrain the desire to end his life because of the hopelessness and crippling pain the young man lives with as a result of crushed dreams and loss of vitality.<br />
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I would be lying if I don't have thoughts about if it would have been better if David would have died. Not because I want him gone but because life is so difficult and painful for him. He's so limited and dependent. He himself struggles with thoughts about desiring death rather than life. These are not uncommon thoughts for someone with a chronic illness or condition that makes them feel as if their life has been stolen from them. These are despairing thoughts. Someone in this place can feel entitled to these feelings because of what has happened to them. The tragedy. The loss. The loneliness. The unfairness of it all. It can suck you in to a pit of darkness that tempts one to wallow there. But we are not called to wallow in our sorrow forever.<br />
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I asked David what he thought about the movie. He didn't understand the end but when I explained it to him and dug a little deeper, he provided me with some beautiful insight and more hope than I was expecting. I thought maybe he'd even agree with the young man but he didn't. He said, "I have so much to live for. Be content with such things as you have for He Himself said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' I love watching you and the girls. I love parenting with you and being with you. I love watching you smile."<br />
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"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." 2 Corinthians 4:7<br />
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We are vessels, broken, so that the power of God and the light of His glorious gospel will shine out of us. He is our hope. Our hope and reason to live another day lies in Christ, the anchor of our souls.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-55630343210182635382017-03-26T22:59:00.003-07:002017-03-26T22:59:52.596-07:00Traveling With a Major Disability and Two KidsI have another more normal blog post that I'm working on but I thought I would post on a subject that I think maybe people may need a little awareness about since this is brain injury awareness month.<br />
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Traveling with a disability is an adventure. At least that's how I try really hard to view it as but to be really honest, it's usually a very stressful experience, especially if it involves flying.<br />
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Next week we are planning on flying to CA. This isn't a first for our family so we are semi-seasoned. When I plan a flight to CA, I have to plan months ahead of time. I send a bag ahead of us with essential supplies for David with whoever is going back to CA. It's a way to try to minimize luggage. Last time we flew, I had a baby strapped to my front, a backpack on my back, a leash in hand to keep track of our 3-year-old, and pushed David in his wheelchair with another carry-on on his lap. I always have to do a mini-training session at the gate to show the guys how to do a stand-pivot transfer to an aisle seat. One man couldn't figure out how the wheelchair could be set up at a 90 degree angle from the aisle chair. He didn't know what a 90 degree angle was. I just did the transfer myself with a baby still strapped to me to save time trying to explain simple geometry. We didn't get the front seat like most times so we got stuck in the middle of the plane. I let two burly strong men figure out how to stuff David in an airplane seat. On the whole 4-hour flight, neither of my kids slept. Because they are small energizer bunnies, they never stopped moving. The woman in front of us leaned her chair all the way back, further compacting my already reduced space because of the 16-month toddler on my lap and yelled at them to stop bumping her seat. I felt like I'd completed and lost a 4-hour wrestling match when we got off that plane.<br />
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This time I won't have the luxury of carrying the toddler in a pack this time. I might just have to not pack for every possible emergency that most likely will happen! I'm not really sure how I would change David in an airplane lavatory. That would definitely be an experience I'd rather not experience.<br />
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This time we will be staying in a hotel. I have to make sure our room is handicap accessible and specify a roll-in shower. I have to make sure they have a shuttle to the airport that has a lift or ramp. That involves talking to a couple incompetent people before I talk to a person that knows what an accessible vehicle is. Everything ends up being an education session. Then I need to figure out who can help me get two car seats, a wheelchair, a large suitcase, small suitcase and two toddlers, and two carry-ones to the ticketing counter because as much as I'd like to think I can do everything myself, I cannot manage all that!<br />
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There you go, a glimpse into traveling with a disabled spouse and two small kids across the country.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-90832097840618795522017-02-18T21:31:00.002-08:002017-02-18T21:31:38.921-08:00Somersaults and VertigoAfter my concussion about a year ago, I had some problems with night driving, dizziness, painless migraines for almost a year. I went to an occupational therapist for a few visits. My eyes were not working together like they were supposed to and struggling to get over to the left. One day, I got the idea that my girls might enjoy watching and imitating gymnastic tumbling videos. So we put some couch cushions on the living room floor and turned on YouTube, somersaulting around, giggling like silly girls.<br />
The next day I noticed I was a little sore from moving and bending my 30 year-old body in ways that I hadn't done for years! But, I noticed something else. My dizziness was gone. My night driving was better and I no longer get sick sitting in the back seat while someone else is driving! <br />
In our inner ear we have crystals that help us know where we are in space. Sometimes if we hit our head, the crystals become dislodged and our balance is off, also known as vertigo. When I was working as a PTA, one of our specialties was working with people with vestibular problems (balance system). For certain vestibular dysfunction diagnoses, we would do a maneuver where the patient would sit on a mat table, we would turn their head a certain direction and swoop them back toward the table. This would realign the crystals and they would once again have their balance.<br />
David's neuro optometrist is working with him on being more aware of his environment. He does spinning and "pin the tail on the donkey". He has been standing every day to shower with the help of the caregiver or I. He can stand on one leg for a few seconds while holding onto a rail. His neuro optometrist wants him to do somersaults. She wanted to have him do them under water but I'm scared to try because last time he tried to breathe underwater! I'll try land first!The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-24185300727257514882016-12-27T20:42:00.001-08:002016-12-27T20:42:20.250-08:00Wrapping up 2016I haven't written a blog post in a few months. I haven't felt like I could really write what was on my heart. I haven't felt very inspired. So now I'm writing a sort of summary of our year.<br />
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This year was a year of not much change in David's recovery. That may be part of the reason I couldn't write. I've been struggling with this. The last four years, David has experienced so many "impossible" milestones in his recovery. Each one gave me this extra kick to keep trundling on, keep pushing barriers. But now we've been at a long plateau for awhile and it's hard to be in just maintenance mode. Having experienced the PT world, I am in constant rehab mode. Physical therapists always have hope that we can help someone improve. We hate the word "maintenance." This year, David had his first hospitalization since his accident. He was very very sick but the Lord chose to, once again, preserve his life. He reached a goal this summer and was able to climb the steps and walk into the sauna at camp. He climbed 18 steps at my cousin's house at Thanksgiving and climbed down our basement stairs, walked all the way to the back of the house to the laundry room, loaded the washing machine and walked all the way back to the stairs and up again. He drove a riding lawn mower successfully this summer and we rode our tandem bike 8 miles. <br />
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This year has been a lot of trying medications and finding out that nothing works. I believe that there is a place for western medicine but it is more about saving lives than healing lives. We are finding out more and more that God is the great Healer. And here, on earth, it's not always about the healing; it's about the journey, the relationships, the learning. David's gut has taken a major hit this year from antibiotics after antibiotics, especially the hardcore ones he received in the hospital and at home. The infectious disease doctor basically told me that if he got another UTI, he might not respond to the antibiotics anymore. I decided to do an experiment. I put David on a very strict diet this month with the exception of Christmas Day. Around Thanksgiving, David was absolutely miserable. He was going through horrible withdrawal symptoms from Paxil (an anti-depressant he tried). He was breaking out and itching all over, not sleeping, very anxious and driving me insane! He was having severe headaches for almost every day of this year. Now after being on the diet for almost a month, his rash is gone, he sleeps all night, he's motivated to be independent, he's moving his left arm more, has less tone, and he's only had 3 headaches in 2 weeks! He is not taking ANY pain meds! I'm so thankful that the Lord has given relief.<br />
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The girls are growing and learning to be friends. We are so thankful for them both. They are little fireballs of energy and bring so much joy and life to our life together.<br />
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We had a lot of firsts this year. We bought our first house together. We got our first dog and cat. Abi learned to walk. I learned how to use a snow blower (using it a lot this week!). It was our first Thanksgiving with my side of the family since we got married and the first holiday celebrated without my aunt and grandma. I voted for the first time and I will be 30 for the first time this year. ;)<br />
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This is my sentiments for the end of this year.<br />
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Because He Lives by Bill Gaither<br />
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<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus; </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">He came to love, heal and forgive; </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">He lived and died to buy my pardon, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives! </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">Because He lives, all fear is gone,</span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">Because I know He holds the future, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">And life is worth the living, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">Just because He lives! </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">And then one day, I'll cross the river, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">I'll fight life's final war with pain; </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">And then, as death gives way to victory, </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives! </span><br style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;" /><br />
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-68255358976027069412016-07-18T21:31:00.000-07:002016-07-18T21:31:25.608-07:00PurposeDavid has been really emphasizing prayer for complete healing for him lately. I have to confess that my prayers about him have become more "palliative" than for healing. Maybe my faith that God will completely heal him has waned. Maybe my vision of healing has changed. Maybe I've come to accept this life to some degree. Maybe there is some higher reason why God has maintained the "not yet" answer. Maybe I'm scared of complete healing. Sounds strange, I know, but I've kind of gotten used to this version of David. <br />
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We have been busy as usual, running all over the country. Within hours of returning to WI from CA in June, my grandmother passed away and so I turned around and flew back with Abi a few days later. I came back on a red eye flight and got home at 7:30am to find out my caregiver called in sick. We flew around that morning and went to church and then came home to pack up to go to Storybook Lodge that afternoon. Our oldest daughter is deathly afraid of dogs and has separation anxiety when things are upset in her little world. My week revolved around calming her wild emotions but we were able to enjoy some excellent teaching, great fellowship, and enjoy God's beautiful creation in Minnesota.<br />
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I took several nuggets away from camp that week. One ties in with my first paragraph. The women's study leader took up studying some influential women in the Bible. One of them was Hannah. Hannah went yearly with her husband to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and went before the Lord in her barrenness to plead for a son. It was not just a child she wanted; she wanted a son of Godly influence on the nation of Israel. She wanted a son to give back to the Lord for a high purpose. We were challenged to pray for our children to be influential in God's kingdom. I don't have boys that will become great preachers or whatever but I have girls that can be strong help meets and I have a husband that has a lot of potential. May God give me vision to pray for my family.<br />
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David is still making little bits of progress. He was able to climb the steps into the sauna this year at camp, which made him very happy. Next time, his goal is to get in the lake and swim! When he walks with me, I don't have to reposition his left left leg every step. Translation: his left leg isn't crossing over as much. We were at his parents house about a week ago and his dad crushed a mint leaf under his nose to see if he could smell it. He said he thought he smelled something but he smelled sour. He smelled though!! He hasn't smelled in a few years! He hasn't really been able to smell anything since but he has a stuffy nose from a cold right now though. His headaches have returned but we haven't gone to the ER for several months now. His memory is still poor. He has had a few episodes where he doesn't remember me at all. These are sad moments for me but he seems to come back and remember enough to know I'm his wife. One morning he woke up and thought I was his brother, Nathan! I asked him, "Do I sound like Nathan??!" He said, "No. Who are you?" I couldn't help but laugh that he thought I was Nathan! He laughed too and we joked about it later. We have to try to keep it light or it gets too heavy to bear. He forgets mostly everything from the last few years and months. He doesn't remember a lot of conversations we have so I get frustrated a lot trying to figure out what puzzle pieces are missing and what connections are working. His motivation is tanked and seems depressed but has at least gotten to a point where he doesn't want to die anymore. Pray for motivation, healing and purpose for David and emotional, physical, and spiritual strength for all of us.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-39632381062324406422016-06-06T20:49:00.000-07:002016-06-06T20:49:21.769-07:00New home and other updatesI've had some thoughts rolling around in my head and I thought I'd share them just in case it may be used to encourage someone.<br />
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I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a dramatization of the life of Samson on. If you are familiar with the story of Samson, you know that Samson was a pretty headstrong, rebellious son. His parents were told by an angel that he would deliver Israel and that he would be a Nazarite. His parents feared God and, I'm sure were saddened by the path he chose for his life. They were probably thinking, how in the world is God going to use this son to deliver Israel, when he was hanging out with the very people they were to stay away from! Not only that, but he married one of them and had parties with them! But in the end, he did destroy the Philistines.<br />
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I've also been thinking about a few other people in the Bible that God told them to do a specific thing or that a specific event would happen but the way it happened was totally unconventional, at least my men's ways. Hosea had to marry a harlot and love her (can you imagine?!). Mary conceived Jesus before she was married. Jesus was crucified on a cross and rose from the dead before he got a chance to be King of the Jews (at least that's what they were thinking).<br />
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Where am I going with all this? Simply this: God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Things may seem to be going quite awry but He uses it and finds a way through our messy, broken lives to bring about purpose and glory for Himself and a furtherance of His kingdom. Just trust Him.<br />
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I promised a more in-depth update so here it is.<br />
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We are settling into our new home. The remodeling is done and we are moved in. We are still putting finishing touches on decor and smaller details but we are functioning. :) The grass is green, the sun is shining most days and we are loving our new space! We have a back yard that had a playset/sandbox already inside a nice big fence. Jocelyn loves spending lots of time getting super dirty, swinging, sliding and checking the perimeter for holes for which to escape out of! ;)<br />
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David is doing good overall. He had a stomach bug over Mother's Day weekend but my mom and dad were here so, although I spent the night before cleaning up stomach bug carnage, I got to enjoy a quiet day with David and Abi and then later with Jocelyn. David hasn't had many headaches since we moved except for a couple weeks ago. I'm assuming from a bladder infection. David saw the neuro optometrist in Chicago a couple weeks ago. This was the second time he has seen her. She was pleased with what she saw, even though I reported a couple negative things I had noticed with him in the last couple months (memory regression and strong rotation of his trunk and head to the left). She noted a positive change in his pupil size. His pupils have become a little more symmetrical in size. This has not changed before, at least in the last 2 years. She gave him another color of the syntonic filter glasses and some new prism goggles to help his posture. He is continuing to work with the "flipper" prism lenses to increase his awareness of the environment. His reaction time seems to have improved slightly. We rigged up a very very redneck baseball bat and propped him up in his standing frame and threw a small stuffed animal at him to bat at. He was able to hit it twice. I expect it to improve with practice. He visited his physical medicine Doctor and demonstrated his walking skills. He was impressed and amazed at him!<br />
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Today we visited the John Deere dealership. David got to test drive a riding mower. He will be getting lots of practice when it arrives in a couple weeks! He is beyond excited to be driving some sort of machine. It will give him a chance to hone his driving skills at a slower speed and speed up his reaction time.<br />
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I'm having trouble uploading pictures and videos to this blog lately so I will put a few on our Facebook page.<br />
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-24478870561610945392016-03-10T21:14:00.001-08:002016-03-10T21:14:43.689-08:00Chicago and an eye Specialist This last week and a half has been a whirlwind. Last Tuesday we closed on a house. We are excited about having our own home. I am coordinating with a contractor to remodel some of the house to make it accessible for David. On Thursday, I went to the emergency room because I was experiencing some strange symptoms as a result of my slipping on some ice and hitting my head the previous Sunday. The doctor said I had gotten a concussion and to rest. Ha! Whenever I tell the nurse about my life at home, they sort of smirk when they tell me to rest because they know it is almost impossible. My dear sister-in-law and brother-in-law came over Friday and let me take a long nap while they watched the kids and brought dinner and even helped pack a few things. On Sunday, David, Abi and I started out for Chicago in the afternoon. I was doing well until it got dark. It was like a switch turned off in my brain and the road started swimming in front of me. I was so dizzy. I was beginning to think that maybe I had not made a wise choice to drive by myself. I knew I could not make it all the way to Chicago so we stopped in Madison and got a hotel. Thankfully David's first appointment with the eye specialist was not until the afternoon of the next day so I had plenty of time to drive in the morning. We even had time to meet up with friends for lunch. :)<br />
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A lot of people have been asking me how the appointments went with this optometrist. I will tell about it here so I don't have to tell it over and over. Maybe I am a nerd but I find this stuff fascinating. I think it's so incredible how God designed our bodies to be so intricate. We are really masterpieces of His creativity and infinite intelligence.and wisdom. We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. <br />
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David had 4 different appointments, all at one office. This optometrist that he saw is not just a run-of-the-mill optometrist. She specializes in neuro-optometric rehabilitation and visual processing and is a member of MENSA. She is a brilliant woman that is world-renown. She is also part of a scientific team that is proving that the retina is a part of the central nervous system. They have shown that changing the way light hits the retina, whether changing direction of light, frequency or intensity, can actually change the brain. David got primarily 3 main things out of his visit there. The doctor was able to determine that blue tinted lenses relax his nervous system. She also prescribed some prism glasses to make his brain more aware of the environment. She described to us that his injured brain does not perceive changes in the environment as quickly or as well as an uninjured brain. She demonstrated to me how the prism glasses exaggerate differences in the environment such as the placement of a picture frame on the wall. When the prism glasses were on, the picture frame seemed higher on the wall than when looking at it without glasses, therefore making the brain aware of the environment. He also saw a rehab tech that gave him some exercises to do to improve his hand/eye coordination, making a better connection between his brain and body. One of the things he had David do was look at his hand while he crumpled a piece of paper while reciting the alphabet or talking in some fashion. It was incredibly difficult for David.<br />
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Thank you to all who prayed for us on this trip. David had his usual everyday headaches but he didn't have any of his really bad ones at all during our trip. He even said it was lower on the drive home than usual! I was expecting him to be in agony on the way home from all the stimulation and different routine. The Lord also gave me the judgement to get off the road before I killed my family. :PThe Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-23846959669046149172016-03-02T21:14:00.000-08:002016-03-02T22:47:46.923-08:00UpdatesAs always, we've had a lot going on.<br />
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It seems God knows just when to provide help when we need it most. My parents were here staying with us for 3 weeks. During those few weeks, we needed them a lot. A lot of us got the stomach flu and David had a week of horrible headaches. It is so great to be able to actually stay in bed all day when the stomach flu has descended on you and not worry that the kids are destroying the house or each other and meals are being served! Since they've left, things have simmered down to a dull roar. But when we were at couple's retreat this weekend, God provided help again through David's brother and wife when we needed it a lot. God is so kind.<br />
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David has been really struggling with headaches. Just when I think I've figured out something that helps him, it changes. Right now we're focusing on prayer, neck strengthening, essential oils and nutritional supplements to be our main battle weapons. The headaches really are a beast. They are mostly every day, day in, day out. When David gets the real bad, unbearable headaches, he gets really anxious and doesn't seem to have any coping mechanisms for extreme pain. I feel so helpless while he cries out for help. He's no longer tolerating most of the heavy duty pain medicines that they give him at the ER, so it's not a very good option. I'm learning that over stimulation and too much social activity combined with not enough rest becomes a trigger for bad headaches. Being a young, naturally active person, this is hard for me to reign things in and say no to too many activities because it will just be a nightmare that's not worth it if I don't.<br />
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This last weekend, we were able to join a few other couples at a couples retreat in Minnesota. It was a challenging weekend in many ways, but worth the time spent building each other up in our marriages. <br />
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A few months ago, I started reading a book called <u>The Ghost in my Brain</u> by a man who experienced some devastating effects in his life from a "mere" concussion. It's a fascinating documentary of life inside his head, reeling from the effects of the concussion. After almost a decade of struggling with his brain not functioning like it used to, he found some doctors in Chicago that helped him immensely. I was able to speak with one of them on the phone a few months ago and scheduled an appointment with the optometrist for David next week. I'm so excited to see what she can do for David. I hope you'll join me in prayer for these appointments with her, for her to have wisdom how to help David heal more, according to God's will.<br />
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In the last few months, I've noticed a few positive gains in David's cognition. Lately, I've been noticing that when we are driving, he knows where we are and how to get places. A year ago, when I would ask him if he could tell me how to get to the mall from our house, he wouldn't have a clue. He would know some street names and highways but not know how to connect them. He surprised me this weekend by telling me what highways and streets to turn on to get up to the camp. A couple years ago, we went to family camp at the same place and I knew that his family had gone there lots of times so I thought it might be an automatic thing to know how to get there but he couldn't even tell me what road it was on, let alone directions. He also surprised me this weekend by telling me that he liked going to speech therapy because it gave me a break from "tending him all day long." I couldn't believe it. He usually is always saying he doesn't want to go to therapy and asks his therapists if he can have "nap therapy." haha! I was just amazed that he realized that I got a break when he left and that I needed or might want that break. A year and a half ago, he took some neuro psychological tests. I remember one of the tests specifically. He did really bad on it. I could tell he wasn't figuring out patterns and wasn't switching gears in his brain at all. Well, he was tested again a couple months ago with a lot larger battery of tests over a few weeks time. The same test came up and he did fantastic on it! I asked the person administering the test what that particular test was testing and she said executive function. It was encouraging to me to see that was so significantly improved. I've also noticed he is becoming more aware of others and can hold a conversation better without fixating on one subject as much. He is evolving into more and more of a leader in our family and it's wonderful to watch and see how the Lord is shaping him and healing him. It really is like watching a potter fashion a piece of clay into a beautiful vase. It's hard to see what the Lord is doing most of the time. It's uncomfortable and hurtful a lot, but behind all the molding, pushing and poking, the Lord is shaping my husband into a man of God who is a man after His own heart.<br />
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"And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make."</div>
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Jeremiah 18:4</div>
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-37904092998020141112016-01-11T21:09:00.000-08:002016-01-11T21:09:38.156-08:00Single WordsA long-time friend of mine gave me this necklace for my birthday last year. It has one word engraved on a key: COURAGE. It made me start to think about single words that have had great impact on me throughout this season of our life since David's accident.<br />
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Shortly after David's accident, I received a care package. One of the things in the care package was another necklace that had the word FAITH on a little pendant. How I needed more faith in those moments when life seemed so fragile. Faith that God would be true to His promise to me, that David would be more than just a body sustained by machines.<br />
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Later on, I received a card with the word HOPE on the front. How I needed hope to keep my head above water, to keep my eyes looking up, up above the regressions and slow progress that David made, to the One who created him and sustains life. Another card came that said COVERED on the front. It had a picture of an umbrella. In fact, I still have that one on my desk as a reminder to me that so many people still remember to pray for us. I can't express how amazing it is to be covered in prayer on a daily basis. How we need it, how we all need it! Can you imagine what our lives would be like, if we all were constantly covered in prayer? Not only when Aunt Sally breaks her leg, but when people look like they are doing well. Pray for people everywhere to learn the love of Christ and His power. We all desperately need Him to fill our lives with Himself, with His love.<br />
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I just share these things to hopefully encourage you that simple things keep people going on their darkest days. <br />
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Right now, I need courage to keep going, to keep pushing. David has a pretty clear schedule right now. Therapy is at a stand still at the moment. So that means I have to be the big meanie and push him in his speech, in his daily activities, in his walking, in his cognition, etc... Some days are easier than others. I'm learning when to push and when to not push because if I push too much, stay up too late, make him go too many places, he pays for it with a horrible headache. I pay for it because I treat him and he has to rest extra. We started back up at the gym and are going to start David riding horses again. I'm looking forward to getting back to running again and David is wanting to work on swimming. He's also doing some great floor to wheelchair transfers with me. We are starting to commit to 20-30 minutes of cognitive rehab at night. I don't know if it's possible, but David would like to go back to school. At this point, he is not ready, so I am trying to push his cognitive limits and see if he can make progress in that area. It really hasn't been an area of focus because we've been spending the last 3-1/2 years trying to get him communicating and moving better. It's crazy how long things take to heal and reroute after a brain injury but it's amazing how it CAN heal by God's grace!<br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fafb; color: #01103a; font-family: arial, helvetica, 'sans serif'; font-size: 14.4px; line-height: 20.16px; text-align: left;"><i>Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.</i></span></div>
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The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-73293190766731181772015-12-13T21:25:00.002-08:002015-12-13T21:25:09.879-08:00Broken A few nights ago I was working on broken things: screwing a zebra head back on, sewing the strap back on David's foot rest, gluing a broken mug, and attaching Velcro to his wheelchair mount for his cell phone. With a lot of equipment, special devices and accessories, and a toddler who is constantly breaking or destroying things, it's easy to pile up a lot of broken things to fix all the time.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDYEtpwGP7IuW0EjIg2N3hXN7YzBqjcv3xW8ZjJjSBiabtS20b7psTIvzcVGJv6qAh2fDW0IPSXFUs2fGfyimqS-xu8HxTcV3pCl0zSmGijTAxoVcjh5tpo3Xc7GfmYV6N_dDbXqiZotN/s1600/IMG_1154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlDYEtpwGP7IuW0EjIg2N3hXN7YzBqjcv3xW8ZjJjSBiabtS20b7psTIvzcVGJv6qAh2fDW0IPSXFUs2fGfyimqS-xu8HxTcV3pCl0zSmGijTAxoVcjh5tpo3Xc7GfmYV6N_dDbXqiZotN/s320/IMG_1154.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Christ is building His kingdom with earth’s broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth’s broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth’s saddest failure up to heaven’s glory."<br /><em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">—J. R. Miller</em></span><br />
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That day that David fell, left him broken in so many ways. Because his brain has been injured in the place that controls impulses and judgement, his sin seems more transparent than mine. It seems a lot uglier because he doesn't have the "brakes" anymore (or as much). Even though it's exasperating and frustrating, I'm thankful because it has shown me, like a mirror, what <b>I</b> am. It challenges me to seek forgiveness and give out forgiveness when I really don't feel like it. It forces me to see that I need God and His strength every minute. I am nothing without Him. It brings me back to the core of the gospel, the power of the Cross. Brain injury strips a person of any facades. It leaves one raw and open for the world to see the good, the bad and the ugly of your soul. Sometimes I wonder, with a bit of trepidation, what I would look like to the world if I had a brain injury and my filter was suddenly gone. Then they would see me for who I really am. My David is aptly named because, well, he is my Beloved, but he also reminds me of David in the Bible. When he messes up, he always comes back to his God. He has a pure heart and he never has any malice toward me, even when I'm reacting nastily to situations. He is always quick to forgive me, which I love. Who doesn't love a man who shows mercy to the undeserving?<br />
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One of our caregivers gave me a book by Amy Carmichael that challenges me in my marriage. One of the quotes that keeps running through my head lately is this: "If my attitude be one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, 'Just what I expected,' if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love." This "Calvary love" is a love I'm forever learning, every moment. But when I do surrender my fear and replace it with trust in a God who became man to defeat death and sin for me, amazing things can happen.<br />
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Lately, it's been good. We had a few crazy, yucky months after baby was born. I was struggling with postpartum depression and exhaustion. David was battling severe headaches and horrible side effects of a couple medications he was trying for the headaches. He had to go to the ER 5 times. We had 3 speaking/ teaching events at the local tech school in the month of October. Now, David hasn't been to the ER in over a month and I'm feeling like the fog is lifting and I have more energy. I started David on some supplements about 3 weeks ago for Omegas, essential oils, food nutrients and vitamins and he's doing really well. I'm noticing improvements in all areas. His memory is improving and he's asking more questions that require higher level thinking. Tonight, I was super impressed. He was able to infer from eavesdropping on a part of a phone conversation that he needed to pray quietly and then decided to keep the the information he'd inferred to himself instead of blurting it out. It was amazing. I have not seen this level of processing and control since before his accident. He's walking around with just me helping and climbing steps! He's less anxious and more insightful. I feel like I'm getting more of the lost puzzle pieces back! :)The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-45636874088249224102015-12-04T21:12:00.002-08:002015-12-04T21:57:27.632-08:00"Your Whole World"I was grocery shopping last week and was in the checkout line with my girls in the cart. There was a little old man in front of me who had kindly put a divider in between his apple cinnamon Cheerios and my groceries. He kept looking at us curiously and then finally got the nerve to ask if he could peek under the car seat cover to look at Abi. He smiled broadly when he saw her sleeping angelically. Looking at the cart with the girls in it, he said, "That's your whole world right there." I couldn't help but smile. It made my heart warm and feel so thankful that God has given me the gift of being a mother to these sweet little girls. Anyone that knows the oldest one knows she gives us a run for our money but we love them both so much! I look at them and think, <i>Man, I am so blessed to have these gifts. They make my life so full of joy.</i><br />
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Ever since Abi was born, David has been blossoming into his "dad role" more and more. It's really an answer to prayer. He still is very limited in his ability to "parent" but is interacting more and more with the girls. I've been praying a lot about this, especially his relationship with Jocelyn. When she was just a wee babe, David's motor skills were not what they are now. When I would lay her in his arm so he could hold her, at any cough, sneeze or yawn, his arm would clench around her. Then when she started walking and getting up close to him, he would attempt to play with her and it would come out as him grabbing her arm. She got very scared of him and men in general. She has a few terrific uncles and grandpas that have been inching their way into her little heart and have helped chip away at her "man anxiety". She's slowly realizing Daddy is not as scary and can have fun with him. He will play blocks with her, kick a big ball back and forth, read books and let her crawl all over him. He also likes to sing to the girls and teach them songs. He's really great at remembering lyrics to songs and can tap out the tune on the piano. <br />
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-51312053902208826122015-09-27T22:36:00.000-07:002015-09-27T22:47:05.954-07:00RamblingEverybody who knows my dad, knows he rambles when he speaks. David has gotten into the habit of asking my dad to ramble when he speaks at church meetings because he loves it. :) Today, I'm going to walk in my dad's footsteps and ramble a bit.<br />
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We've been working on David's walking for over two years now. You'd think things would have gotten better. Well, they have to some degree...but that's just it, degrees, millimeters, micrometers...some minuscule measurement. I've thought, "if only he could walk independently, at least with a walker..." so many times. Maybe in another few years...But at least he's in a real walker now! He needs help with his left leg, constant verbal cuing for everything and help keeping his walker straight, but...he's in a real walker! :)<br />
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This is him a couple weeks ago.<br />
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The PT also had him on the floor to work on floor recovery. If you don't know what floor recovery is, it's when you teach someone how to get off the floor after they've fallen or somehow ended up on the floor. David can't do this anywhere near independently but he surprised me how much he could do!</div>
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Lately, David has been involved in a job assessment. He has been working at a local florist, finding out what he can and can't do. He has amazed me at how tenacious he can be if he's motivated! :) He is able to fold boxes for floral arrangements with one hand independently. I couldn't believe how he was able to get the bottom woven together so it didn't need tape. Last time, I was able to go with him and watch him. He met a young man that works there who had a brain AVM (arteriovenous malformation) 10 years ago that caused him to become paralyzed on his left side. He now walks around and uses his left arm. I hope that he can encourage David.</div>
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David and I have been really struggling with some personal things. I wonder what the Lord has in it. We went to go see the movie War Room and were deeply encouraged and convicted. I've felt so many times that we are in real spiritual warfare. Our enemy is not our spouse or whoever else we have to relate to, it is Satan himself. We have a caregiver who is involved in Wicca practices and has pentagon symbols all over her. We need real discernment is this situation. Do we try to continue to witness the Good News of salvation to her or let her go because we have a household that serves the Lord? </div>
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Almost two weeks ago, I went to the moms group I go to sometimes. At the end, we were asked to say what our dream vacation would be. I was holding back tears because we never get to go on real vacations anymore. Our honeymoon was the last time we went somewhere without vestiges of TBI life lurking in the shadows. We always have help and we're never a family that isn't weighted down by disability barriers. It's hard to dream with that reality in your head. If we want to go anywhere, I have to do extensive planning beyond normal packing and picking hotels and destinations. I have to make sure the restaurants, hotels, bathrooms, campsites, etc... are handicap accessible. And even when I do call ahead and reserve a room with a roll-in shower, sometimes I can see them staring blankly across the phone lines because they have no idea what a roll-in shower is and why it would possibly be so important to have that...then I get there after they've assured me they do indeed have one, and it has been reserved to someone else so I have to figure out how to shower my husband without him falling because I don't have enough room in the "accessible" bathroom to transfer him correctly. I have to make sure I've ordered supplies and medications in time before we leave but not too soon because it won't be authorized yet. Then making sure I remembered everything that David needs just to spend one night. If I forgot one item, it could be a disaster. It's not the same as forgetting wipes or diapers for a baby. You can just run to the next Wal-Mart and pick more up...not so with some of David's supplies. If I forget, they don't just sell them at any drug store AND some of them require a prescription from a doctor. </div>
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BUT, there's a thing called (well, some might call it stupidity or bravery)..but however you categorize it...we did something crazy this weekend. I packed up everyone (David, me, the toddler and the baby) and headed up north for a long weekend and a wedding. It was just us. That hasn't ever happened before. I was nervous but I've been hankering to get away. Last year, I "dropped" (more like gently lost control) David last summer because the hotel bathroom we were in was less than ideal. Thankfully, that time, I had help to get him off the floor. This time, I just asked the Lord to please help me because I had no one if things went south. Taking a vacation with two kids under the age of 2 and a husband that is dependent is scary and super time consuming. I mentally prepared for just having loads of time. I'm not a very good time manager and usually try to pack too many things into too little time but this time I knew that it was going to be a lot so I basically planned on things taking all day! It took 3-4 hours every morning to get everyone ready and packed to get out of the hotel. Crazy! No more 5 minute get-ready sessions like I used to in high school. With a husband that has communication difficulties and needing help with every aspect of life and a two-year old running around trying to smother her sister and unroll toilet paper plus a nursing baby, it's quite the adventure, let me tell you. But, the Lord gave us a beautiful autumn weekend and we enjoyed some waterfalls on the north shore in MN and a wedding of two godly people. The kids slept and behaved well, in general, so, overall, it was the best I could have expected, and actually better. David got to see some friends he hadn't seen in years. I felt "whole" for the first time since David's accident. We always have help. We always have caregivers or family, which is great to have that help and support, but, it's amazing to feel like we are actually our own family unit for once. This daily grind that we live can get so suffocating sometimes. TBI consumes me. This weekend freed me to some extent. Even though it was there in the background, it wasn't screaming in my face for attention 24/7. It felt like we were a semi-normal family for once, a family that went on a vacation.</div>
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The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-73771934949656336182015-08-10T21:54:00.000-07:002015-08-10T21:54:00.217-07:00Positive WordsYes, I'm writing two posts today.<br />
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Because of David's brain injury, he struggles with major depression and anxiety over the way he is and the life he lives now. It's a daily battle. He has a very hard time coming up with something he did well that day or recognizing when he is successful. <br />
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Today he surprised me. He just started back up with his Occupational Therapist for work on being more independent with ADL's (activities of daily living) after a break for a few months of hard work at home. The therapist worked with him on donning and doffing a shirt. He surprised her by taking off his shirt all by himself in less than a minute! Then he was able to put on his shirt with just a little help from her. When he came home, he told me, "Today was a good day because of two things. I learned that I was able to put my shirt on and take it off all by myself!" He's actually excited about working on this and visiting his therapist. He finally realized he was successful with something and it made his day! Instead of telling his caregiver to do it, he reminded her that he could do it and he was going to do it by himself. He didn't even get frustrated with himself when it took him 7 minutes to put his shirt on. Yes!!The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-51350264438334515862015-08-10T21:44:00.000-07:002015-08-10T21:44:27.339-07:00New LifeAs many of you know, we welcomed another daughter into our family on July 30th a little before 1am. She is perfect. She sleeps a lot (in contrast to her older sister!) and is such a peaceful little presence in our home. She's just what I need. I was going through major baby fever last summer when my niece was born but I thought it an impossible thing, a gift that I shouldn't set my hopes on. I didn't even take pregnancy tests because I didn't want to be disappointed. I should've just been thankful that God gave us our first daughter without trying or knowing that she was being knitted together before David's accident. But I longed for another baby, for some selfish reasons, but also so that our first daughter wouldn't be an only child. David didn't remember my pregnancy or birth of our first daughter so I wanted him to experience this joy at least once. God is so good! One of the first things that the doctors told me that might not "work" was for David to have children after his accident, before I even knew he had a massive brain injury. At that point I didn't care, I just wanted my husband alive. Little did I know the dire news that would be delivered to me 3 years ago, the journey that lay ahead of us, or the gifts that God would grace us with along the way.<br />
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Well, here she is, our second miracle baby, born just a week shy of David's 3 year anniversary of his accident...a lovely reminder of life and hope.<br />
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ABI ARIANA HANSON</div>
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The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-36230478899296024852015-07-08T20:58:00.001-07:002015-07-08T20:59:52.944-07:00A Photojournalist View of Snippets of Our Day<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzekOxaBlXDBQYUMHpNlw7QSrhIR3mhKNFqGt2QV-xA7IR_qNcu6iot9eP0Te8oin7dPi41wycs2mrCx8408aaO5XbmXPf_0j5RNAxaLkSJ8sQfRdOCwEjyyGd2d4MHF6AD8xl5ga7kMd/s1600/IMG_8037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzekOxaBlXDBQYUMHpNlw7QSrhIR3mhKNFqGt2QV-xA7IR_qNcu6iot9eP0Te8oin7dPi41wycs2mrCx8408aaO5XbmXPf_0j5RNAxaLkSJ8sQfRdOCwEjyyGd2d4MHF6AD8xl5ga7kMd/s320/IMG_8037.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A necklace destroyed by the one and only small one</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3Xdsq2FaGf92WrVUSRBwoCt-wBm_FUq3fRS9N7yi3P5ZkhWQNqyi72YDEeT4FwIIDeleFtofAt69f1TAPVb8IjAJ9rQbxZnCisVJ60JSRwloWeV3Rq9Zkvm4Niv19z39Eq3mGg3RC4Al/s1600/IMG_8043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB3Xdsq2FaGf92WrVUSRBwoCt-wBm_FUq3fRS9N7yi3P5ZkhWQNqyi72YDEeT4FwIIDeleFtofAt69f1TAPVb8IjAJ9rQbxZnCisVJ60JSRwloWeV3Rq9Zkvm4Niv19z39Eq3mGg3RC4Al/s320/IMG_8043.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Enjoying a new wildflower that has arrived in our neighborhood lately</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This little miss is our sunshine</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because nosey cups, thickened liquids, meds and built up utensils are a daily occurrence </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For some reason she only wants to wear one of these shoes, not two, but one</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because dishes never end</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv-c_MwrFXTGaDc-sLU23Ukgr1SM50Y3cBFot-pFfPyZJ61gxQuw1kuRGkjdGdhrm2eiS_bEAMyDKh2yzuc-DN9ygYF7SAO2EXbIA_2DB8UfI3nTdvVYhft-MU0Gb10UKIDR1yHeMR0FS_/s1600/IMG_8053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv-c_MwrFXTGaDc-sLU23Ukgr1SM50Y3cBFot-pFfPyZJ61gxQuw1kuRGkjdGdhrm2eiS_bEAMyDKh2yzuc-DN9ygYF7SAO2EXbIA_2DB8UfI3nTdvVYhft-MU0Gb10UKIDR1yHeMR0FS_/s320/IMG_8053.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Because caterpillars need to use the potty too</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The favorite comfy spot for this guy</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The countdown has begun and the littlest little will be arriving soon!</td></tr>
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-19773641933270539662015-07-01T22:00:00.000-07:002015-07-01T22:00:30.221-07:00Answered PrayerWe have been having serious caregiving staffing issues. We have not had any consistent new hires to fill open shifts in almost a year from two companies. We now have contracts with two other companies to fill the rest of the hours...so we are working with four companies now! Crazy! One of the caregivers started a couple days ago and we really like her so far - smart, sweet and reliable! We will probably meet the other one next week (just two weeks before my due date!!). Thank you for praying. God hears and answers at the right time.<br />
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You can also pray for a safe, healthy delivery of our baby girl in 3 weeks (or whenever she decides to make her grand arrival into this world). 😀The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-16795304720984273122015-06-16T21:53:00.000-07:002015-06-16T21:53:08.832-07:00"Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?"This is an age old question. I don't know a person on this earth who hasn't asked this question out loud or at least thought it to themselves. This question was posed this last week at a kids camp we were at. It's an honest question and a lot of people don't have the answer to it. It's a question that forces itself to the surface, especially when we're suffering and we can't find a "justifiable reason" for it.<br />
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Today is our third wedding anniversary. It's a bittersweet day for me, although each anniversary is better than the last. The first was celebrated by getting a get-out-of-jail-free card from the nursing home David was residing in and rolling him down the street to a coffee shop, giving him a couple sips of forbidden coffee (because of his swallowing precautions) and sitting in a tiny redwood park for a few minutes while we attempted to have a "conversation" by going through the alphabet and David giving a thumbs up a hundred times. I had tried to make the day special by wearing the white dress I wore going away from our wedding...but it got soiled moments before we were going to go on our outing by our precious little 2-month old daughter! Our second anniversary was spent celebrating David's ability to eat normal food and have a bit of a real verbal conversation by having dinner at Red Lobster. Today we celebrate David's ability to initiate plans for the day without me having to orchestrate everything and the miracle of expecting another baby soon. Our wedding day was a beautiful day of love and pure joy. The memories of that day were nothing but good (except for it being 110 degrees and 3 people suffering heat strokes!!). We pledged our love to each other for better or worse. The "worse" came sooner than we'd have liked...seven weeks into our blissful life.<br />
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I'm learning to love a new man that God has given me. I've had to learn to love a man that has problems that most people don't imagine having until they are well into their 80's. I love a man that is becoming a man after God's own heart...David. <br />
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Why the suffering, why the emotional roller coaster of these last 3 years to two people that love God? This is my answer: Read the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. They chose death and the curse by sinning against God and disobeying Him by eating the forbidden fruit. So, in this single act, they ushered sin into this world. We live in a fallen, accursed world full of suffering, pain, sadness, and discouragement. But God, in His great mercy has provided an escape, a hope of eternal life. Sending His only Son to die for us showed the world in one amazing act of love, that He had provided a way of redemption and salvation. We, born in sin, doomed to death and destruction, have been given the option of eternal life through Christ Jesus. What hope! <br />
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"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes on His, will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16<br />
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We may have suffering because of judgement from God because we are living unfaithfully or unrighteously but we also may be suffering for the glory of God. Whatever the purpose, we can be sure that we can trust in a righteous and trustworthy God and that even though this life in the world may not always be rainbows and lollipops, if we trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior, we have a hope that no suffering in this world can take away.<br />
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<br />The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-1005902788384447632015-06-09T22:03:00.003-07:002015-06-09T22:03:46.114-07:00HopeMy humanness (is that even a word??) gets the best of me sometimes and my heavenly hope that things will be all better in eternity doesn't always satisfy the longing to have life be a bit better now on this earth. I'm always researching, trying new things that might help David feel better, function better, live like a 31-year old husband and father should. I saw a quote yesterday that sums up how I feel on most days, "What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible." --Theodore Roethke. But we have God, and He is enough. He does all things well.<br />
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But God works through people here and now on this earth. We've been given a boost of hope by a few professionals lately after a dry season of lots of comments and actions that seemed to imply, "Be thankful for what you have but this is about as good as it gets. Live with it." A series of bladder infections got David a referral to a urologist who has been very kind and has given some hope for improvement by external means to help his spasms. A friend of David's posted an article about a man with a brain injury. I bought his book on Kindle and started reading his story and learned about two fascinating doctors in Chicago area. I decided to check their websites out and then call them to see how legit they were. I called one of them today and got her on the phone... no receptionist, no annoying phone tree maze, no answering machine...the real deal!! She was the coolest, most helpful person I've talked to in a long time that actually seemed interested in David improving more.<br />
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"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." Romans 15:13The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-63206021654497047452015-05-20T21:10:00.001-07:002015-05-20T21:10:37.889-07:00A Good DayToday was a good day. <br />
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I'm potty training a toddler and taking care of a disabled husband without my main caregiver this week. It's crazy around here. Thanks to my caregiver that comes for 1-1/2 hours in the morning to get David up and dressed, my brother-in-law coming for a few hours to help and my mother-in-law babysitting and helping some this week, it's not as bad as it could be. <br />
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David did awesome today. He did his exercises really well this morning and was able to hold a hands and knees (quadruped) position for a minute without barely any assistance from me. His push ups were really strong too. He had a really bad headache last night so didn't sleep too well, so amazed me that he was cognitively and physically strong today. Usually the next day after a bad headache is a wash. He gets stuck on about 12 different subjects and will cycle through them endlessly throughout the day but today he did pretty good with staying on topic and even asking some relevant questions today. <br />
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We are visiting the neurologist tomorrow and his physiatrist in a few weeks. Please pray for wisdom for me to ask for the right things for David to aid in his healing. Some of the big things on my "list" are a solution for his ongoing headaches and regular PT and/or OT to relieve me of the hours of work I do with David on a daily basis just to maintain mobility and slowly progress to functional activities. In a couple months I will not be able to do this amount of work with him and it is imperative to keeping his headaches and other spasticity/tone related pain and stiffness at a dull roar. Between that and weekly chiropractic visits, these are the things that I've found to help the most with his pain. He needs skilled therapy, not just caregivers doing rote exercises.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-11300519801535558462015-05-11T12:59:00.000-07:002015-05-11T12:59:28.501-07:00Comfort and Joy - A Followup"For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother." Philemon 1:7<br />
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I think my last blog post may have come across as a pity party to some or a unappreciative commentary on lack of support. Neither were my intention.<br />
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We are so thankful for those (especially family) that do support us in visiting us, babysitting Jocelyn, staying with David so I can take a vacation, financial support, kind gifts, thoughtful cards, and prayer intercession. The abyss I feel in my heart can only be filled with David and Christ and no amount of support and love from others will fully alleviate that. I also have been called upon to make huge transitions in the last 3 years and it will just take time to move on. Every gift of love and time to us is greatly appreciated, far more than you can imagine. The smallest things mean so much, because living this life makes us value life, sacrifice and time out of your day more than ever before.<br />
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I write from my heart and I speak the truth. And the truth about living with a loved one with a brain injury isn't always pretty. The media is a far cry from the truth. You don't just wake up after a coma and everything is dandy. There a major repercussions from an injury like this for the survivor and caregiver/family alike, no matter how "mild" the brain injury is. The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2674798982912976770.post-86078901214875894402015-05-08T21:13:00.000-07:002015-05-08T21:13:01.196-07:00BarriersI'm sure many of you have experiences barriers to the life you would like to live. If you are a missionary, you probably don't have your dream house or the food you're used to. There are huge cultural differences and language barriers. In all reality, none of us have the perfect life where everything goes exactly as planned. The kids don't behave, the spouse isn't living up to your expectations. Then there's brain injury. <br />
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This post isn't meant to make people feel bad for us or me complaining. I think people need to be educated about what life is like for a severely handicapped young family and to hopefully gain a better understanding so you know how to help people around you better. Before I started this journey with David, I had no clue what it took to be living a disabled life. I worked with disabled people all the time for 10 years and had no idea what they went through every day just to get to an appointment on time.<br />
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I have the husband, the babies, a comfortable home, adequate finances and wonderful family, of which I am so grateful. But it's like having a car without wheels.<br />
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I never know what a day will bring forth. In some ways, our life is so scheduled, so repetitive. Every day, David starts getting ready for the day at 7am. I go unlock the door for the caregiver and go back to bed for a few more winks unless there is no caregiver or Jocelyn wakes up early. 8am: I start making breakfast for everyone, wash last night's dishes, and clean up. 8:30am: Caregiver reports to me how morning cares are going and advise accordingly. 8:45am: David comes out for breakfast and usually has a million things on his mind to say. 9:30am: Either get David on the bed for exercises or off to an appointment with therapy, doctors, psychologist or whoever. 11:45am: Start preparing for lunch and eat lunch at 12pm. 1pm: Nap time for David and Jocelyn, time for me to do paperwork, housecleaning, laundry, prepare food for the week, make phone calls or write emails (ie. catch-up time). 2:30pm: David up from nap and goes to more appointments, walks or rides bike. 5pm: Start making dinner and eat by 6pm. 7pm: Watch a movie. 8pm: Bible time. 8:30pm: Jocelyn bedtime. 9pm: Get David ready for bed. 11pm: Night time meds for David and bedtime for me. Sleep. Repeat.<br />
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And then there's the unexpected that happens more frequently than I'd like: ER or emergency chiropractor visits for severe intractable headaches, bladder infections, incontinence at inopportune times, caregivers quitting or no-showing, new caregivers to train in before important early appointments, unexpected appointments, unexpected social activities or cancellations that nobody bothered to let me know in advance about... It goes on and on. <br />
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I'm constantly having to flex to something new with David; learn a new technique, remember how he reacts to all treatments and medications for the last 3 years, notice any changes and accurately report them to doctors, ask all the right questions, advance activities and exercises as David progresses, make David wear splints and braces and come up with inventive new ideas to keep him from ripping them off. The newest thing is a neuro stretch technique and then a brace applied to stretch out his calf. This technique takes at least 20 minutes to do properly and is impossible to do properly with a two-year old crawling all over you and him, pulling on your hair, elbowing your belly, poking your eyeballs and other orifices, etc... And the PT wonders why I haven't been super compliant with this technique? All the therapists want us to do home programs, which is fine if you don't have a million other therapies to do home programs for too. <br />
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Always climbing mountains. It never ends. Always coming up with strategies to help me cope/David retrain with behavioral/cognitive problems. The mundane and unexpected combined with this new (relatively) environment (for me) make it so challenging to "fit" anywhere. We can't go to most people's homes because they aren't accessible. I have a hard time relating to women in my stage of life except for having a toddler. TBI has left me grateful for the smallest things my husband can do for me. A few days ago, he helped me clean the bathroom sink. It was so hard for him to even scrub or get his fingers around the sponge. It took about 5x as long but he was so proud of himself and I was so proud of him trying. I change light bulbs, unclog drains and toilets, garden, clean gutters, get the cars maintained, build things, take out the trash, change every poopy diaper, clean up vomit, handle finances, squish spiders, shovel snow... I can't be scared of or wimp out on anything or not know how to handle almost everything. I can call my daddy but he's 2,000 miles away. Women that are married to men who work and are able-bodied take so much for granted. They may seem like couch potatoes but at least you can have a conversation with them without having to talk about 5 other meaningless topics 10x before the conversation is over (or did it really even begin?). They can take out the trash or run to the store for a jug of milk, take the colicky baby outside for a few minutes. They feed themselves and get themselves out of bed and dressed. It takes over 2 hours to get David up, dressed and fed in the morning. 2-1/2 hours GONE! I spend about 2 hours with David almost every single day doing therapy-related "homework" and the caregivers spend about an hour. It takes David about 45 minutes to eat a meal. When he was in the hospital, it took him 1-1/2 to 2 hours to eat a meal so he's made progress in this area! Disability takes so much time! People wonder why I don't have time to "take time for myself", why I can't make new friends. We try really hard to live a "normal" life but our "normal life" takes about 10 times as long to live in the same 24-hour day.The Cerebral Climbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17692942035647667284noreply@blogger.com3