We've been working on David's walking for over two years now. You'd think things would have gotten better. Well, they have to some degree...but that's just it, degrees, millimeters, micrometers...some minuscule measurement. I've thought, "if only he could walk independently, at least with a walker..." so many times. Maybe in another few years...But at least he's in a real walker now! He needs help with his left leg, constant verbal cuing for everything and help keeping his walker straight, but...he's in a real walker! :)
This is him a couple weeks ago.
The PT also had him on the floor to work on floor recovery. If you don't know what floor recovery is, it's when you teach someone how to get off the floor after they've fallen or somehow ended up on the floor. David can't do this anywhere near independently but he surprised me how much he could do!
Lately, David has been involved in a job assessment. He has been working at a local florist, finding out what he can and can't do. He has amazed me at how tenacious he can be if he's motivated! :) He is able to fold boxes for floral arrangements with one hand independently. I couldn't believe how he was able to get the bottom woven together so it didn't need tape. Last time, I was able to go with him and watch him. He met a young man that works there who had a brain AVM (arteriovenous malformation) 10 years ago that caused him to become paralyzed on his left side. He now walks around and uses his left arm. I hope that he can encourage David.
David and I have been really struggling with some personal things. I wonder what the Lord has in it. We went to go see the movie War Room and were deeply encouraged and convicted. I've felt so many times that we are in real spiritual warfare. Our enemy is not our spouse or whoever else we have to relate to, it is Satan himself. We have a caregiver who is involved in Wicca practices and has pentagon symbols all over her. We need real discernment is this situation. Do we try to continue to witness the Good News of salvation to her or let her go because we have a household that serves the Lord?
Almost two weeks ago, I went to the moms group I go to sometimes. At the end, we were asked to say what our dream vacation would be. I was holding back tears because we never get to go on real vacations anymore. Our honeymoon was the last time we went somewhere without vestiges of TBI life lurking in the shadows. We always have help and we're never a family that isn't weighted down by disability barriers. It's hard to dream with that reality in your head. If we want to go anywhere, I have to do extensive planning beyond normal packing and picking hotels and destinations. I have to make sure the restaurants, hotels, bathrooms, campsites, etc... are handicap accessible. And even when I do call ahead and reserve a room with a roll-in shower, sometimes I can see them staring blankly across the phone lines because they have no idea what a roll-in shower is and why it would possibly be so important to have that...then I get there after they've assured me they do indeed have one, and it has been reserved to someone else so I have to figure out how to shower my husband without him falling because I don't have enough room in the "accessible" bathroom to transfer him correctly. I have to make sure I've ordered supplies and medications in time before we leave but not too soon because it won't be authorized yet. Then making sure I remembered everything that David needs just to spend one night. If I forgot one item, it could be a disaster. It's not the same as forgetting wipes or diapers for a baby. You can just run to the next Wal-Mart and pick more up...not so with some of David's supplies. If I forget, they don't just sell them at any drug store AND some of them require a prescription from a doctor.
BUT, there's a thing called (well, some might call it stupidity or bravery)..but however you categorize it...we did something crazy this weekend. I packed up everyone (David, me, the toddler and the baby) and headed up north for a long weekend and a wedding. It was just us. That hasn't ever happened before. I was nervous but I've been hankering to get away. Last year, I "dropped" (more like gently lost control) David last summer because the hotel bathroom we were in was less than ideal. Thankfully, that time, I had help to get him off the floor. This time, I just asked the Lord to please help me because I had no one if things went south. Taking a vacation with two kids under the age of 2 and a husband that is dependent is scary and super time consuming. I mentally prepared for just having loads of time. I'm not a very good time manager and usually try to pack too many things into too little time but this time I knew that it was going to be a lot so I basically planned on things taking all day! It took 3-4 hours every morning to get everyone ready and packed to get out of the hotel. Crazy! No more 5 minute get-ready sessions like I used to in high school. With a husband that has communication difficulties and needing help with every aspect of life and a two-year old running around trying to smother her sister and unroll toilet paper plus a nursing baby, it's quite the adventure, let me tell you. But, the Lord gave us a beautiful autumn weekend and we enjoyed some waterfalls on the north shore in MN and a wedding of two godly people. The kids slept and behaved well, in general, so, overall, it was the best I could have expected, and actually better. David got to see some friends he hadn't seen in years. I felt "whole" for the first time since David's accident. We always have help. We always have caregivers or family, which is great to have that help and support, but, it's amazing to feel like we are actually our own family unit for once. This daily grind that we live can get so suffocating sometimes. TBI consumes me. This weekend freed me to some extent. Even though it was there in the background, it wasn't screaming in my face for attention 24/7. It felt like we were a semi-normal family for once, a family that went on a vacation.
