I haven't written a blog post in a few months. I haven't felt like I could really write what was on my heart. I haven't felt very inspired. So now I'm writing a sort of summary of our year.
This year was a year of not much change in David's recovery. That may be part of the reason I couldn't write. I've been struggling with this. The last four years, David has experienced so many "impossible" milestones in his recovery. Each one gave me this extra kick to keep trundling on, keep pushing barriers. But now we've been at a long plateau for awhile and it's hard to be in just maintenance mode. Having experienced the PT world, I am in constant rehab mode. Physical therapists always have hope that we can help someone improve. We hate the word "maintenance." This year, David had his first hospitalization since his accident. He was very very sick but the Lord chose to, once again, preserve his life. He reached a goal this summer and was able to climb the steps and walk into the sauna at camp. He climbed 18 steps at my cousin's house at Thanksgiving and climbed down our basement stairs, walked all the way to the back of the house to the laundry room, loaded the washing machine and walked all the way back to the stairs and up again. He drove a riding lawn mower successfully this summer and we rode our tandem bike 8 miles.
This year has been a lot of trying medications and finding out that nothing works. I believe that there is a place for western medicine but it is more about saving lives than healing lives. We are finding out more and more that God is the great Healer. And here, on earth, it's not always about the healing; it's about the journey, the relationships, the learning. David's gut has taken a major hit this year from antibiotics after antibiotics, especially the hardcore ones he received in the hospital and at home. The infectious disease doctor basically told me that if he got another UTI, he might not respond to the antibiotics anymore. I decided to do an experiment. I put David on a very strict diet this month with the exception of Christmas Day. Around Thanksgiving, David was absolutely miserable. He was going through horrible withdrawal symptoms from Paxil (an anti-depressant he tried). He was breaking out and itching all over, not sleeping, very anxious and driving me insane! He was having severe headaches for almost every day of this year. Now after being on the diet for almost a month, his rash is gone, he sleeps all night, he's motivated to be independent, he's moving his left arm more, has less tone, and he's only had 3 headaches in 2 weeks! He is not taking ANY pain meds! I'm so thankful that the Lord has given relief.
The girls are growing and learning to be friends. We are so thankful for them both. They are little fireballs of energy and bring so much joy and life to our life together.
We had a lot of firsts this year. We bought our first house together. We got our first dog and cat. Abi learned to walk. I learned how to use a snow blower (using it a lot this week!). It was our first Thanksgiving with my side of the family since we got married and the first holiday celebrated without my aunt and grandma. I voted for the first time and I will be 30 for the first time this year. ;)
This is my sentiments for the end of this year.
Because He Lives by Bill Gaither
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone,
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
Purpose
David has been really emphasizing prayer for complete healing for him lately. I have to confess that my prayers about him have become more "palliative" than for healing. Maybe my faith that God will completely heal him has waned. Maybe my vision of healing has changed. Maybe I've come to accept this life to some degree. Maybe there is some higher reason why God has maintained the "not yet" answer. Maybe I'm scared of complete healing. Sounds strange, I know, but I've kind of gotten used to this version of David.
We have been busy as usual, running all over the country. Within hours of returning to WI from CA in June, my grandmother passed away and so I turned around and flew back with Abi a few days later. I came back on a red eye flight and got home at 7:30am to find out my caregiver called in sick. We flew around that morning and went to church and then came home to pack up to go to Storybook Lodge that afternoon. Our oldest daughter is deathly afraid of dogs and has separation anxiety when things are upset in her little world. My week revolved around calming her wild emotions but we were able to enjoy some excellent teaching, great fellowship, and enjoy God's beautiful creation in Minnesota.
I took several nuggets away from camp that week. One ties in with my first paragraph. The women's study leader took up studying some influential women in the Bible. One of them was Hannah. Hannah went yearly with her husband to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and went before the Lord in her barrenness to plead for a son. It was not just a child she wanted; she wanted a son of Godly influence on the nation of Israel. She wanted a son to give back to the Lord for a high purpose. We were challenged to pray for our children to be influential in God's kingdom. I don't have boys that will become great preachers or whatever but I have girls that can be strong help meets and I have a husband that has a lot of potential. May God give me vision to pray for my family.
David is still making little bits of progress. He was able to climb the steps into the sauna this year at camp, which made him very happy. Next time, his goal is to get in the lake and swim! When he walks with me, I don't have to reposition his left left leg every step. Translation: his left leg isn't crossing over as much. We were at his parents house about a week ago and his dad crushed a mint leaf under his nose to see if he could smell it. He said he thought he smelled something but he smelled sour. He smelled though!! He hasn't smelled in a few years! He hasn't really been able to smell anything since but he has a stuffy nose from a cold right now though. His headaches have returned but we haven't gone to the ER for several months now. His memory is still poor. He has had a few episodes where he doesn't remember me at all. These are sad moments for me but he seems to come back and remember enough to know I'm his wife. One morning he woke up and thought I was his brother, Nathan! I asked him, "Do I sound like Nathan??!" He said, "No. Who are you?" I couldn't help but laugh that he thought I was Nathan! He laughed too and we joked about it later. We have to try to keep it light or it gets too heavy to bear. He forgets mostly everything from the last few years and months. He doesn't remember a lot of conversations we have so I get frustrated a lot trying to figure out what puzzle pieces are missing and what connections are working. His motivation is tanked and seems depressed but has at least gotten to a point where he doesn't want to die anymore. Pray for motivation, healing and purpose for David and emotional, physical, and spiritual strength for all of us.
We have been busy as usual, running all over the country. Within hours of returning to WI from CA in June, my grandmother passed away and so I turned around and flew back with Abi a few days later. I came back on a red eye flight and got home at 7:30am to find out my caregiver called in sick. We flew around that morning and went to church and then came home to pack up to go to Storybook Lodge that afternoon. Our oldest daughter is deathly afraid of dogs and has separation anxiety when things are upset in her little world. My week revolved around calming her wild emotions but we were able to enjoy some excellent teaching, great fellowship, and enjoy God's beautiful creation in Minnesota.
I took several nuggets away from camp that week. One ties in with my first paragraph. The women's study leader took up studying some influential women in the Bible. One of them was Hannah. Hannah went yearly with her husband to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and went before the Lord in her barrenness to plead for a son. It was not just a child she wanted; she wanted a son of Godly influence on the nation of Israel. She wanted a son to give back to the Lord for a high purpose. We were challenged to pray for our children to be influential in God's kingdom. I don't have boys that will become great preachers or whatever but I have girls that can be strong help meets and I have a husband that has a lot of potential. May God give me vision to pray for my family.
David is still making little bits of progress. He was able to climb the steps into the sauna this year at camp, which made him very happy. Next time, his goal is to get in the lake and swim! When he walks with me, I don't have to reposition his left left leg every step. Translation: his left leg isn't crossing over as much. We were at his parents house about a week ago and his dad crushed a mint leaf under his nose to see if he could smell it. He said he thought he smelled something but he smelled sour. He smelled though!! He hasn't smelled in a few years! He hasn't really been able to smell anything since but he has a stuffy nose from a cold right now though. His headaches have returned but we haven't gone to the ER for several months now. His memory is still poor. He has had a few episodes where he doesn't remember me at all. These are sad moments for me but he seems to come back and remember enough to know I'm his wife. One morning he woke up and thought I was his brother, Nathan! I asked him, "Do I sound like Nathan??!" He said, "No. Who are you?" I couldn't help but laugh that he thought I was Nathan! He laughed too and we joked about it later. We have to try to keep it light or it gets too heavy to bear. He forgets mostly everything from the last few years and months. He doesn't remember a lot of conversations we have so I get frustrated a lot trying to figure out what puzzle pieces are missing and what connections are working. His motivation is tanked and seems depressed but has at least gotten to a point where he doesn't want to die anymore. Pray for motivation, healing and purpose for David and emotional, physical, and spiritual strength for all of us.
Monday, June 6, 2016
New home and other updates
I've had some thoughts rolling around in my head and I thought I'd share them just in case it may be used to encourage someone.
I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a dramatization of the life of Samson on. If you are familiar with the story of Samson, you know that Samson was a pretty headstrong, rebellious son. His parents were told by an angel that he would deliver Israel and that he would be a Nazarite. His parents feared God and, I'm sure were saddened by the path he chose for his life. They were probably thinking, how in the world is God going to use this son to deliver Israel, when he was hanging out with the very people they were to stay away from! Not only that, but he married one of them and had parties with them! But in the end, he did destroy the Philistines.
I've also been thinking about a few other people in the Bible that God told them to do a specific thing or that a specific event would happen but the way it happened was totally unconventional, at least my men's ways. Hosea had to marry a harlot and love her (can you imagine?!). Mary conceived Jesus before she was married. Jesus was crucified on a cross and rose from the dead before he got a chance to be King of the Jews (at least that's what they were thinking).
Where am I going with all this? Simply this: God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Things may seem to be going quite awry but He uses it and finds a way through our messy, broken lives to bring about purpose and glory for Himself and a furtherance of His kingdom. Just trust Him.
I promised a more in-depth update so here it is.
We are settling into our new home. The remodeling is done and we are moved in. We are still putting finishing touches on decor and smaller details but we are functioning. :) The grass is green, the sun is shining most days and we are loving our new space! We have a back yard that had a playset/sandbox already inside a nice big fence. Jocelyn loves spending lots of time getting super dirty, swinging, sliding and checking the perimeter for holes for which to escape out of! ;)
David is doing good overall. He had a stomach bug over Mother's Day weekend but my mom and dad were here so, although I spent the night before cleaning up stomach bug carnage, I got to enjoy a quiet day with David and Abi and then later with Jocelyn. David hasn't had many headaches since we moved except for a couple weeks ago. I'm assuming from a bladder infection. David saw the neuro optometrist in Chicago a couple weeks ago. This was the second time he has seen her. She was pleased with what she saw, even though I reported a couple negative things I had noticed with him in the last couple months (memory regression and strong rotation of his trunk and head to the left). She noted a positive change in his pupil size. His pupils have become a little more symmetrical in size. This has not changed before, at least in the last 2 years. She gave him another color of the syntonic filter glasses and some new prism goggles to help his posture. He is continuing to work with the "flipper" prism lenses to increase his awareness of the environment. His reaction time seems to have improved slightly. We rigged up a very very redneck baseball bat and propped him up in his standing frame and threw a small stuffed animal at him to bat at. He was able to hit it twice. I expect it to improve with practice. He visited his physical medicine Doctor and demonstrated his walking skills. He was impressed and amazed at him!
Today we visited the John Deere dealership. David got to test drive a riding mower. He will be getting lots of practice when it arrives in a couple weeks! He is beyond excited to be driving some sort of machine. It will give him a chance to hone his driving skills at a slower speed and speed up his reaction time.
I'm having trouble uploading pictures and videos to this blog lately so I will put a few on our Facebook page.
I was listening to the radio the other day and there was a dramatization of the life of Samson on. If you are familiar with the story of Samson, you know that Samson was a pretty headstrong, rebellious son. His parents were told by an angel that he would deliver Israel and that he would be a Nazarite. His parents feared God and, I'm sure were saddened by the path he chose for his life. They were probably thinking, how in the world is God going to use this son to deliver Israel, when he was hanging out with the very people they were to stay away from! Not only that, but he married one of them and had parties with them! But in the end, he did destroy the Philistines.
I've also been thinking about a few other people in the Bible that God told them to do a specific thing or that a specific event would happen but the way it happened was totally unconventional, at least my men's ways. Hosea had to marry a harlot and love her (can you imagine?!). Mary conceived Jesus before she was married. Jesus was crucified on a cross and rose from the dead before he got a chance to be King of the Jews (at least that's what they were thinking).
Where am I going with all this? Simply this: God's ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Things may seem to be going quite awry but He uses it and finds a way through our messy, broken lives to bring about purpose and glory for Himself and a furtherance of His kingdom. Just trust Him.
I promised a more in-depth update so here it is.
We are settling into our new home. The remodeling is done and we are moved in. We are still putting finishing touches on decor and smaller details but we are functioning. :) The grass is green, the sun is shining most days and we are loving our new space! We have a back yard that had a playset/sandbox already inside a nice big fence. Jocelyn loves spending lots of time getting super dirty, swinging, sliding and checking the perimeter for holes for which to escape out of! ;)
David is doing good overall. He had a stomach bug over Mother's Day weekend but my mom and dad were here so, although I spent the night before cleaning up stomach bug carnage, I got to enjoy a quiet day with David and Abi and then later with Jocelyn. David hasn't had many headaches since we moved except for a couple weeks ago. I'm assuming from a bladder infection. David saw the neuro optometrist in Chicago a couple weeks ago. This was the second time he has seen her. She was pleased with what she saw, even though I reported a couple negative things I had noticed with him in the last couple months (memory regression and strong rotation of his trunk and head to the left). She noted a positive change in his pupil size. His pupils have become a little more symmetrical in size. This has not changed before, at least in the last 2 years. She gave him another color of the syntonic filter glasses and some new prism goggles to help his posture. He is continuing to work with the "flipper" prism lenses to increase his awareness of the environment. His reaction time seems to have improved slightly. We rigged up a very very redneck baseball bat and propped him up in his standing frame and threw a small stuffed animal at him to bat at. He was able to hit it twice. I expect it to improve with practice. He visited his physical medicine Doctor and demonstrated his walking skills. He was impressed and amazed at him!
Today we visited the John Deere dealership. David got to test drive a riding mower. He will be getting lots of practice when it arrives in a couple weeks! He is beyond excited to be driving some sort of machine. It will give him a chance to hone his driving skills at a slower speed and speed up his reaction time.
I'm having trouble uploading pictures and videos to this blog lately so I will put a few on our Facebook page.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Chicago and an eye Specialist
This last week and a half has been a whirlwind. Last Tuesday we closed on a house. We are excited about having our own home. I am coordinating with a contractor to remodel some of the house to make it accessible for David. On Thursday, I went to the emergency room because I was experiencing some strange symptoms as a result of my slipping on some ice and hitting my head the previous Sunday. The doctor said I had gotten a concussion and to rest. Ha! Whenever I tell the nurse about my life at home, they sort of smirk when they tell me to rest because they know it is almost impossible. My dear sister-in-law and brother-in-law came over Friday and let me take a long nap while they watched the kids and brought dinner and even helped pack a few things. On Sunday, David, Abi and I started out for Chicago in the afternoon. I was doing well until it got dark. It was like a switch turned off in my brain and the road started swimming in front of me. I was so dizzy. I was beginning to think that maybe I had not made a wise choice to drive by myself. I knew I could not make it all the way to Chicago so we stopped in Madison and got a hotel. Thankfully David's first appointment with the eye specialist was not until the afternoon of the next day so I had plenty of time to drive in the morning. We even had time to meet up with friends for lunch. :)
A lot of people have been asking me how the appointments went with this optometrist. I will tell about it here so I don't have to tell it over and over. Maybe I am a nerd but I find this stuff fascinating. I think it's so incredible how God designed our bodies to be so intricate. We are really masterpieces of His creativity and infinite intelligence.and wisdom. We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made.
David had 4 different appointments, all at one office. This optometrist that he saw is not just a run-of-the-mill optometrist. She specializes in neuro-optometric rehabilitation and visual processing and is a member of MENSA. She is a brilliant woman that is world-renown. She is also part of a scientific team that is proving that the retina is a part of the central nervous system. They have shown that changing the way light hits the retina, whether changing direction of light, frequency or intensity, can actually change the brain. David got primarily 3 main things out of his visit there. The doctor was able to determine that blue tinted lenses relax his nervous system. She also prescribed some prism glasses to make his brain more aware of the environment. She described to us that his injured brain does not perceive changes in the environment as quickly or as well as an uninjured brain. She demonstrated to me how the prism glasses exaggerate differences in the environment such as the placement of a picture frame on the wall. When the prism glasses were on, the picture frame seemed higher on the wall than when looking at it without glasses, therefore making the brain aware of the environment. He also saw a rehab tech that gave him some exercises to do to improve his hand/eye coordination, making a better connection between his brain and body. One of the things he had David do was look at his hand while he crumpled a piece of paper while reciting the alphabet or talking in some fashion. It was incredibly difficult for David.
Thank you to all who prayed for us on this trip. David had his usual everyday headaches but he didn't have any of his really bad ones at all during our trip. He even said it was lower on the drive home than usual! I was expecting him to be in agony on the way home from all the stimulation and different routine. The Lord also gave me the judgement to get off the road before I killed my family. :P
A lot of people have been asking me how the appointments went with this optometrist. I will tell about it here so I don't have to tell it over and over. Maybe I am a nerd but I find this stuff fascinating. I think it's so incredible how God designed our bodies to be so intricate. We are really masterpieces of His creativity and infinite intelligence.and wisdom. We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made.
David had 4 different appointments, all at one office. This optometrist that he saw is not just a run-of-the-mill optometrist. She specializes in neuro-optometric rehabilitation and visual processing and is a member of MENSA. She is a brilliant woman that is world-renown. She is also part of a scientific team that is proving that the retina is a part of the central nervous system. They have shown that changing the way light hits the retina, whether changing direction of light, frequency or intensity, can actually change the brain. David got primarily 3 main things out of his visit there. The doctor was able to determine that blue tinted lenses relax his nervous system. She also prescribed some prism glasses to make his brain more aware of the environment. She described to us that his injured brain does not perceive changes in the environment as quickly or as well as an uninjured brain. She demonstrated to me how the prism glasses exaggerate differences in the environment such as the placement of a picture frame on the wall. When the prism glasses were on, the picture frame seemed higher on the wall than when looking at it without glasses, therefore making the brain aware of the environment. He also saw a rehab tech that gave him some exercises to do to improve his hand/eye coordination, making a better connection between his brain and body. One of the things he had David do was look at his hand while he crumpled a piece of paper while reciting the alphabet or talking in some fashion. It was incredibly difficult for David.
Thank you to all who prayed for us on this trip. David had his usual everyday headaches but he didn't have any of his really bad ones at all during our trip. He even said it was lower on the drive home than usual! I was expecting him to be in agony on the way home from all the stimulation and different routine. The Lord also gave me the judgement to get off the road before I killed my family. :P
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Updates
As always, we've had a lot going on.
It seems God knows just when to provide help when we need it most. My parents were here staying with us for 3 weeks. During those few weeks, we needed them a lot. A lot of us got the stomach flu and David had a week of horrible headaches. It is so great to be able to actually stay in bed all day when the stomach flu has descended on you and not worry that the kids are destroying the house or each other and meals are being served! Since they've left, things have simmered down to a dull roar. But when we were at couple's retreat this weekend, God provided help again through David's brother and wife when we needed it a lot. God is so kind.
David has been really struggling with headaches. Just when I think I've figured out something that helps him, it changes. Right now we're focusing on prayer, neck strengthening, essential oils and nutritional supplements to be our main battle weapons. The headaches really are a beast. They are mostly every day, day in, day out. When David gets the real bad, unbearable headaches, he gets really anxious and doesn't seem to have any coping mechanisms for extreme pain. I feel so helpless while he cries out for help. He's no longer tolerating most of the heavy duty pain medicines that they give him at the ER, so it's not a very good option. I'm learning that over stimulation and too much social activity combined with not enough rest becomes a trigger for bad headaches. Being a young, naturally active person, this is hard for me to reign things in and say no to too many activities because it will just be a nightmare that's not worth it if I don't.
This last weekend, we were able to join a few other couples at a couples retreat in Minnesota. It was a challenging weekend in many ways, but worth the time spent building each other up in our marriages.
A few months ago, I started reading a book called The Ghost in my Brain by a man who experienced some devastating effects in his life from a "mere" concussion. It's a fascinating documentary of life inside his head, reeling from the effects of the concussion. After almost a decade of struggling with his brain not functioning like it used to, he found some doctors in Chicago that helped him immensely. I was able to speak with one of them on the phone a few months ago and scheduled an appointment with the optometrist for David next week. I'm so excited to see what she can do for David. I hope you'll join me in prayer for these appointments with her, for her to have wisdom how to help David heal more, according to God's will.
In the last few months, I've noticed a few positive gains in David's cognition. Lately, I've been noticing that when we are driving, he knows where we are and how to get places. A year ago, when I would ask him if he could tell me how to get to the mall from our house, he wouldn't have a clue. He would know some street names and highways but not know how to connect them. He surprised me this weekend by telling me what highways and streets to turn on to get up to the camp. A couple years ago, we went to family camp at the same place and I knew that his family had gone there lots of times so I thought it might be an automatic thing to know how to get there but he couldn't even tell me what road it was on, let alone directions. He also surprised me this weekend by telling me that he liked going to speech therapy because it gave me a break from "tending him all day long." I couldn't believe it. He usually is always saying he doesn't want to go to therapy and asks his therapists if he can have "nap therapy." haha! I was just amazed that he realized that I got a break when he left and that I needed or might want that break. A year and a half ago, he took some neuro psychological tests. I remember one of the tests specifically. He did really bad on it. I could tell he wasn't figuring out patterns and wasn't switching gears in his brain at all. Well, he was tested again a couple months ago with a lot larger battery of tests over a few weeks time. The same test came up and he did fantastic on it! I asked the person administering the test what that particular test was testing and she said executive function. It was encouraging to me to see that was so significantly improved. I've also noticed he is becoming more aware of others and can hold a conversation better without fixating on one subject as much. He is evolving into more and more of a leader in our family and it's wonderful to watch and see how the Lord is shaping him and healing him. It really is like watching a potter fashion a piece of clay into a beautiful vase. It's hard to see what the Lord is doing most of the time. It's uncomfortable and hurtful a lot, but behind all the molding, pushing and poking, the Lord is shaping my husband into a man of God who is a man after His own heart.
It seems God knows just when to provide help when we need it most. My parents were here staying with us for 3 weeks. During those few weeks, we needed them a lot. A lot of us got the stomach flu and David had a week of horrible headaches. It is so great to be able to actually stay in bed all day when the stomach flu has descended on you and not worry that the kids are destroying the house or each other and meals are being served! Since they've left, things have simmered down to a dull roar. But when we were at couple's retreat this weekend, God provided help again through David's brother and wife when we needed it a lot. God is so kind.
David has been really struggling with headaches. Just when I think I've figured out something that helps him, it changes. Right now we're focusing on prayer, neck strengthening, essential oils and nutritional supplements to be our main battle weapons. The headaches really are a beast. They are mostly every day, day in, day out. When David gets the real bad, unbearable headaches, he gets really anxious and doesn't seem to have any coping mechanisms for extreme pain. I feel so helpless while he cries out for help. He's no longer tolerating most of the heavy duty pain medicines that they give him at the ER, so it's not a very good option. I'm learning that over stimulation and too much social activity combined with not enough rest becomes a trigger for bad headaches. Being a young, naturally active person, this is hard for me to reign things in and say no to too many activities because it will just be a nightmare that's not worth it if I don't.
This last weekend, we were able to join a few other couples at a couples retreat in Minnesota. It was a challenging weekend in many ways, but worth the time spent building each other up in our marriages.
A few months ago, I started reading a book called The Ghost in my Brain by a man who experienced some devastating effects in his life from a "mere" concussion. It's a fascinating documentary of life inside his head, reeling from the effects of the concussion. After almost a decade of struggling with his brain not functioning like it used to, he found some doctors in Chicago that helped him immensely. I was able to speak with one of them on the phone a few months ago and scheduled an appointment with the optometrist for David next week. I'm so excited to see what she can do for David. I hope you'll join me in prayer for these appointments with her, for her to have wisdom how to help David heal more, according to God's will.
In the last few months, I've noticed a few positive gains in David's cognition. Lately, I've been noticing that when we are driving, he knows where we are and how to get places. A year ago, when I would ask him if he could tell me how to get to the mall from our house, he wouldn't have a clue. He would know some street names and highways but not know how to connect them. He surprised me this weekend by telling me what highways and streets to turn on to get up to the camp. A couple years ago, we went to family camp at the same place and I knew that his family had gone there lots of times so I thought it might be an automatic thing to know how to get there but he couldn't even tell me what road it was on, let alone directions. He also surprised me this weekend by telling me that he liked going to speech therapy because it gave me a break from "tending him all day long." I couldn't believe it. He usually is always saying he doesn't want to go to therapy and asks his therapists if he can have "nap therapy." haha! I was just amazed that he realized that I got a break when he left and that I needed or might want that break. A year and a half ago, he took some neuro psychological tests. I remember one of the tests specifically. He did really bad on it. I could tell he wasn't figuring out patterns and wasn't switching gears in his brain at all. Well, he was tested again a couple months ago with a lot larger battery of tests over a few weeks time. The same test came up and he did fantastic on it! I asked the person administering the test what that particular test was testing and she said executive function. It was encouraging to me to see that was so significantly improved. I've also noticed he is becoming more aware of others and can hold a conversation better without fixating on one subject as much. He is evolving into more and more of a leader in our family and it's wonderful to watch and see how the Lord is shaping him and healing him. It really is like watching a potter fashion a piece of clay into a beautiful vase. It's hard to see what the Lord is doing most of the time. It's uncomfortable and hurtful a lot, but behind all the molding, pushing and poking, the Lord is shaping my husband into a man of God who is a man after His own heart.
"And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make."
Jeremiah 18:4
Monday, January 11, 2016
Single Words
A long-time friend of mine gave me this necklace for my birthday last year. It has one word engraved on a key: COURAGE. It made me start to think about single words that have had great impact on me throughout this season of our life since David's accident.
Shortly after David's accident, I received a care package. One of the things in the care package was another necklace that had the word FAITH on a little pendant. How I needed more faith in those moments when life seemed so fragile. Faith that God would be true to His promise to me, that David would be more than just a body sustained by machines.
Later on, I received a card with the word HOPE on the front. How I needed hope to keep my head above water, to keep my eyes looking up, up above the regressions and slow progress that David made, to the One who created him and sustains life. Another card came that said COVERED on the front. It had a picture of an umbrella. In fact, I still have that one on my desk as a reminder to me that so many people still remember to pray for us. I can't express how amazing it is to be covered in prayer on a daily basis. How we need it, how we all need it! Can you imagine what our lives would be like, if we all were constantly covered in prayer? Not only when Aunt Sally breaks her leg, but when people look like they are doing well. Pray for people everywhere to learn the love of Christ and His power. We all desperately need Him to fill our lives with Himself, with His love.
I just share these things to hopefully encourage you that simple things keep people going on their darkest days.
Right now, I need courage to keep going, to keep pushing. David has a pretty clear schedule right now. Therapy is at a stand still at the moment. So that means I have to be the big meanie and push him in his speech, in his daily activities, in his walking, in his cognition, etc... Some days are easier than others. I'm learning when to push and when to not push because if I push too much, stay up too late, make him go too many places, he pays for it with a horrible headache. I pay for it because I treat him and he has to rest extra. We started back up at the gym and are going to start David riding horses again. I'm looking forward to getting back to running again and David is wanting to work on swimming. He's also doing some great floor to wheelchair transfers with me. We are starting to commit to 20-30 minutes of cognitive rehab at night. I don't know if it's possible, but David would like to go back to school. At this point, he is not ready, so I am trying to push his cognitive limits and see if he can make progress in that area. It really hasn't been an area of focus because we've been spending the last 3-1/2 years trying to get him communicating and moving better. It's crazy how long things take to heal and reroute after a brain injury but it's amazing how it CAN heal by God's grace!
Later on, I received a card with the word HOPE on the front. How I needed hope to keep my head above water, to keep my eyes looking up, up above the regressions and slow progress that David made, to the One who created him and sustains life. Another card came that said COVERED on the front. It had a picture of an umbrella. In fact, I still have that one on my desk as a reminder to me that so many people still remember to pray for us. I can't express how amazing it is to be covered in prayer on a daily basis. How we need it, how we all need it! Can you imagine what our lives would be like, if we all were constantly covered in prayer? Not only when Aunt Sally breaks her leg, but when people look like they are doing well. Pray for people everywhere to learn the love of Christ and His power. We all desperately need Him to fill our lives with Himself, with His love.
I just share these things to hopefully encourage you that simple things keep people going on their darkest days.
Right now, I need courage to keep going, to keep pushing. David has a pretty clear schedule right now. Therapy is at a stand still at the moment. So that means I have to be the big meanie and push him in his speech, in his daily activities, in his walking, in his cognition, etc... Some days are easier than others. I'm learning when to push and when to not push because if I push too much, stay up too late, make him go too many places, he pays for it with a horrible headache. I pay for it because I treat him and he has to rest extra. We started back up at the gym and are going to start David riding horses again. I'm looking forward to getting back to running again and David is wanting to work on swimming. He's also doing some great floor to wheelchair transfers with me. We are starting to commit to 20-30 minutes of cognitive rehab at night. I don't know if it's possible, but David would like to go back to school. At this point, he is not ready, so I am trying to push his cognitive limits and see if he can make progress in that area. It really hasn't been an area of focus because we've been spending the last 3-1/2 years trying to get him communicating and moving better. It's crazy how long things take to heal and reroute after a brain injury but it's amazing how it CAN heal by God's grace!
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Ephesians 6:10
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