"Strength for Today and Bright Hope for Tomorrow"

I've been thinking about the line from the beloved hymn "Great is thy Faithfulness" that says, "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow."  I find it amazing to see how the Lord gives the strength needed to get through today in small ways.  Some days, it's harder to see that strength but maybe it's because we are not leaning on Him hard enough to be our Strength.

We found out a few weeks ago that we have a new miracle coming to us around July 24th!  The sonogram last week recorded a perfect little heartbeat thumping away. :)  We are very excited to have another child join our family and give Jocelyn a sibling but are aware that it will bring extra challenges to our life.  An example of the Lord's strength for me in these last few weeks has manifested itself in my parents being here for the first few weeks of the pregnancy when I was the most fatigued and not feeling great.  I have been blessed with hardly any morning sickness so I've been able to function pretty normally. :)

Another way to Lord has been giving an extra boost is a shift in relationship between Jocelyn and David.  For awhile now, it has been a struggle.  David has a hard time controlling his grasp strength and when he goes to touch/grab Jocelyn in a "friendly" way when she walks by, he ends up hurting her by grasping her little limbs too hard and not being able to let go fast enough.  Of course, she is too little to understand that daddy is not trying to hurt her, but only trying to play.  She reacts with displeasure and lots of hitting and shouting.  We've been trying to work on both ends because both the action and reaction are problematic.  Lately, we've seen a shift to a more loving relationship between the two.  Jocelyn has taken to holding David's hand and gently stroking his arm, saying, "Nice!" and actually requesting and consenting to sitting on his lap without protest!

Something we've been working on for several months has finally come to fruition.  Last Friday, David got a special mount for his wheelchair that moves at several joints.  It has a special attachment so that he can read books and another one for a cell phone.  With his glasses, he can read his regular Bible for the first time by himself in 2-1/2 years!  He also is able to text on his cell phone with a stylus and his glasses.  It's so great for him to have another added way of communication and allows him to work on visual attention and fine motor skills.  I see it as a great tool for him that will open more doors for him.  He's also puttering around by himself in his new bright orange wheelchair with his right arm and leg propelling him.

With these new avenues of independence comes with a need for added supervision.  Pray for strength and wisdom for me and others who work with David to know how to "nag" him appropriately to not discourage him, but still keep him from hurting himself or others.

We were blessed lately with a beautiful trip to CA.  I'm including a few snapshots of our time there. :)

A Stained Glass Window

While baking Christmas cookies today, the thought crossed my mind that our life is like a stained glass window.  That moment that David fell off that pole, our colorful, happy life as we knew it shattered to a thousand pieces.  But it isn't for naught.  Slowly, the colored shards are being pieced back together into another picture by the master Artist.  It's painful to have them fitted back together.  Sometimes the pieces don't seem to quite fit right, but then at the last moment, when it seems we can't bear it any longer, He welds in another small piece to make it a little more comfortable.  We don't see the whole picture in the window yet but He has a plan and He will shine through this life too.

Last week, it seemed He was melting the glass or filing sharp edges off.  Whatever He was doing was not comfortable!  Long story short, about 4 doctors gave 3 diagnoses to us for reasons why David was having severe abdominal pain.  After several tests, he ended up in the hospital overnight, for what ended up being a fairly simple problem that I could have handled at home, had I known it wasn't something as serious as the doctors had diagnosed in the beginning!  It left us all pretty ragged, unrested and with very contemptible attitudes.

Some of the old pieces are being fitted back into our new life.  It's surprising when I recognize an old piece because I've gotten so used to it being gone.  Here's an example: when we were first married, David showed high esteem for my cooking and decided that I was the best cook in the world.  Maybe I took pride in this a little too much because when, for the last year, he hasn't praised my cooking much and even declared it "nasty" a few times, it rather deflated my balloon.  Last week, he surprised me with a comment.  I told him the options at the potluck dinner at church.  He just wanted what I made because it was the only dish he "trusted." This made me chuckle inside because there are lots of other good cooks in our church that he should trust his palate to.  It's kind of a silly thing, but I think he thinks I'm the "best cook in the world" again.

This week has been a better week, but still has us on our toes, doing things differently or new things.  David was doing some pretty intense vocational rehab testing for Monday-Wednesday.  My parents were here for a couple months and took care of Jocelyn when I was taking David to therapy.  In these last two months, she has turned into a monster for staying to watch David's therapies.  I've decided to step back a bit for my mental health, for David to develop more independence and for Jocelyn be able to just be a regular 20-month old wild thing that doesn't have to be caged up during hours of therapy.  I think it will be better for all of us.

I don't remember who I've asked for prayer about this but I asked some to pray that his new wheelchair would come before our trip to CA at the end of the month.  The prayer has been answered and we are delighted to get it the day before we leave! :)

Everyday Life When You Are Married to Someone With a TBI

Everyday life is busy, just like everyone else but not like everyone else.  It involves lots of phone calls, visits, and emails to therapists, doctors, nurses, and other practitioners.  We never know what a day will bring forth. This year, David has been under the care of probably 20-30 different people, or possibly more.

Lately, we made changes to our caregiving schedule to consolidate cares and free up some time for family, just us time.  We haven't really hardly had any "us" time in a LONG time.  It puts a strain on things, because we can never talk about private family matters even at our own dinner table.  It's come with it's own challenges, as it always does, but I like it.  Instead of having caregivers 15 hours a day, they are here 9 hours.

I feel like a fire fighter or maybe, a babysitter/ manager would be a better description.  I'm constantly having to follow up on new things we're starting such as orders, appointments, new schedules... Nothing is cut and dried.  It's always refreshing when I get someone on the phone that follows through right away or does their job right the first time.  For example, I had to call and/or email the scheduler for our caregivers FIVE times regarding one caregiver's schedule with David.  We've been in the process of getting David a new wheelchair for FOUR months.  Meanwhile, David's physical medicine doctor had to have an emergency procedure and is out of his office for an indefinite amount of time causing David's botox injections to be delayed two months.  I could write a book just on the reasons that caregivers come up with to either not show up at all, be late, or be unable to fill the position after training.  It's unbelievable, really.

In other ways, our life is normal.  We go to church, we eat meals together, we scramble after a very active, smart 19-month old, we go out to eat, we go on walks (weather permitting), we get together with friends, we celebrate holidays with family...and we are very thankful for these things.

Things to pray for and praise for:  David is still having almost constant moderate to severe headaches despite numerous drug interventions, massage, positioning and other interventions and a clear CT scan,  David's walking, bed mobility, interaction with people and environment continues to slowly improve.

New Toy and More Progress

It's not exactly what you would call "balmy" weather here but we tried out our new tandem Terra Trike Friday regardless!  David did great and pedaled about 70% of the time.

Later that day, he had OT and PT. Although he wasn't standing tall really good, his gait pattern is becoming more fluid and normal. I'm having some difficulties getting videos uploaded here but when I figure it out, I'll give a visual. 😄

Fish Out of Water

This last weekend, I drove 4 hours down to Milwaukee for a Physical Therapy course on shoulders and knees.  I stayed at a nice hotel for a good price.  A king sized bed, a large couch, bathroom and walk-in closet were all mine to enjoy all by myself.  I had an absolutely quiet night in the hotel.  No squishy, stinky diapered child bouncing on my head yelling "UPPEEDOOO!!!" at 6:45am or "HOOONEY! RELEASE ME! at 2am.  Instead, a white fluffy comforter enveloping me in quiet, uninterrupted sleep.

For 2 days, my brain tried to sponge as much information as possible from the class -- 284 pages and 15 hours later, I might just know all there is to know about MLB players and shoulder injuries, or maybe not.  I'm not working as a PTA right now but want to keep my license up just in case I need or want to go back to work, so I'm required by the state to fulfill a certain amount of hours every 2 years.  I wasn't sure how to switch gears.  I had no current orthopedic patients to go home and practice on.  The last 2 years of my life have left me rather emotionally depleted, so I didn't have much to offer as far as making new friends or contacts.  In some ways the class was exhilarating, something different from the regular day to day pace lately, but empty in other ways.  I was filling my brain with things that I wouldn't be using in the near future, at least as far as I know.

While gone, I was able to facebook message David a few times.  It felt really awesome to get messages from him.  It was like old times, getting that little flutter of excitement in my stomach when I'd get a text or email.  I've been missing that a lot.  Since I'm with him 24-7, I never get to have the "absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder" moments.

When I got home, I got snuggles and a back rub from my honey and a bouncing, redhead shouting excitedly in the morning, "MaMA MaMA!!" and extra loves.  Taking care of these two is my life and I love it.  This is home, this is where I fit.

Gifts of Faithfulness

Unmerited favor...we are shown unmerited favor on a daily basis but sometimes it shows up in a more visible manner to our blind hearts.  Lately we've experienced this in several ways.  God chooses to bless at the most unexpected times.  We have a caregiver that we've had for several months and we really appreciate her caring, dedicated service to us in her care of David.  We wanted to show our appreciation by taking her to a good burger restaurant here in town.  We enjoyed our sumptuous WI fried cheese curds and burgers.  I asked the waiter for the bill.  He informed me that someone at another table, unbeknownst to us, had paid our tab! I don't know who it was but God used a stranger to bless us.

The last few days, David has shown incredible gains in his left leg.  He has suddenly gone from a 1/5 muscle grade to a 2/5 muscle grade.  He is able to march with it and straighten his knee in sitting!  It's amazing!  We never thought this left leg would do anything.  It didn't even have any trace muscle activity for 2 years and now he's standing on it, stepping with it, marching with it and straightening it!! 

I have started a treatment using essential oils the last two nights.  I'm not sure if this is what is aiding in David's gains, but we'll accept this added measure of healing from the hand of our Father!

We have made a purchase lately that we are pretty excited about: a tandem recumbent bike.  We will post a picture of us on it when we get it.  Although we may not be able to ride it outside much before the snow and ice envelops us, we will take advantage of better weather until that time! :)  David is excited to be able to get some aerobic exercise (which is very difficult for him to get).  I'm excited to be able to do something active with my husband.  Before the accident we enjoyed about every kind of active thing you could imagine, so to be limited in this way for the first 2 years of our marriage has been tough.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17

A Good Weekend

10/20/14 (Rachel Hanson) We have had a really good week, consummated by a great weekend. On Saturday, we had a beautiful, sunny fall day so we took advantage of it and went to a park. Jocelyn got to swing and David got to throw a frisbee. Then we went home and made cookies. Sunday, we went to church and went bowling and out to eat with family. It almost felt normal this weekend.